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There is nothing on my mind except…

October 13, 2010 Leave a comment

That politics is and are, ridiculous.

American society has become ridiculous. If we’re not too fat, we’re too stupid. We’re definitely too complacent. We like to complain and complain but we don’t get up and do somehting about it. And those that do, like the Tea Party, bad example perhaps, but the only one available- are ridiculed for the beleifs they stand up for. Yes, they’re racist cheap white Amercians with nothing but more complaints and no soplutions, being used by a darker power hiding in the wings… but they are actually at least standing up for something and making some noise.

It’s all just perverse. I read abotu it all the time, all day, every day- a n opinion on politics is like the old sayiong about an opinion on anything- it’s like an asshole, everyone’s got one, and no matter what all it produces is shit.

MyfriendAngelo Rodriguez,may he rest in peace, used to say- “ok, stop talking shit, what are you gonna do about it?” after hearing you out intently and quietly. He left us too soon, and he was right.

The Establishment, is broken. Humanity is perverse, greedy, corrupt, self serving. Too self serving to ever expect that whatever group in power will serve all of the people. Humanity can’t help itself- it will always divide and ostracize. Humanity is insecure, so it has to single out “the other ones” and put them down to maintain its own self esteem. Use god, use money, use skin color, use sexuality- use whatever you like- there will always be something to use and there will always be a human being ready and willing to use it.

There is no governemnt on the face of the erth that seems to have gotten it right. That is, if “right:” means the prosperity of ALL of the people.

If “right” means squashing the less fortunate, and is a perception set forth by those more fortunate, those on the top, the rich, the equivalent of what monarchies were… then sure, it’s working fine. Exceptionally well in fact, since we have no revolutions anymore, since people don’t stand up together and force change anymore- when things are as wrong as they have ever been.

Since people, are easily fooled into thinking what doesnt work, like the present system, is somehow going to work, once the billionth band aid is tacked on.

Fuck Politics.

And I, will be no different than you, in respect of doing nothing about it- other than to do this nothing, honestly, and not pretend I don’t see what’s going on.

Until someone, or some group, stands up and begins the clean up, from the top to the bottom-andisbackedupbyan unyeilding force, loyal to no one and no thing more than the commitment to the cause- I’m going to keep this “opinion” and pont of view- what I think, is an honest one. And pray, in my own non-religious way, every day- that that if it allcant just come crashing down and level the playing field for the have – not’s, and a better society can be put together from the ashes, then that I should get my shot at whatever type of freedom I can attain to live the rest of my life like a big Fuck You to the system, and assure that any proginy I mistakenly and selfishly bring into this unfair society gets the opportunity only to do the same.

Have a Nice Day!

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Comment on; Where do you put a Mosque?

August 17, 2010 1 comment

Link to original blog

Answer: You put a Mosque, and for that matter a Church, a Synagogue, a Temple, a friggin Tree people want to pray to on Arbor Day… Anywhere the laws of the land will allow. This is the United States of America and Freedom, as much as humanly possible, is what we stand for.

I’ll continue this rant on my own blog…

I happen to work for The City of New York in a capacity that affords me the unfortunate privilege to have the opinions of New Yorkers and now with this Mosque debate- any jerk off who has an opinion outside of our city- thrown at me. I have to hear all of it. In the last months, there has been a grand total of three… that’s THREE supportive opinions I have heard regarding this matter- the rest are from people who for all my ability to try and extend my understanding- simply put- need something to hate.

I have had enough time to think of all this. I have heard enough. I have spoken to parents of soldiers both alive and dead. I have spoken to parents and friends of those who died and those who worked at the 9-11 site. For them I feel remorse, of course, but no amount of loss is an excuse for uninformed irrationality- to put it nicely.

I have spoken to the crack pots who dont have anything else better to do but stick their noses in anything the media tells them they should care about. I have spoken to all of these people from all around the country.

Few of them can contain their rage to express themselves in a rational way. Most want to yell at whomever they get on the phone. One bordered on threatening terrorism himself. Most, have southern accents. Most, make the ignorant assumption that the Mayor of New York has the power of a King and that by his decree he has “allowed” this to occur. Those in particular I regard as Idiots.

But again, most just want to hate. The same emotion that fueled those who supposedly flew planes into the towers that morning.

I work here in the area. I was going to school at the foot of the WTC. I was, if not for my genuine disdain for Math Class, supposed to be there that morning. I worked at a school shortly there after- again, at the foot of the WTC, where an entire dorm room floor wall was covered with the names of those students and family of students and faculty that were lost that day.

I come to work every day- tolerant of the tourists holding their maps, looking for “the hole”.

It’s a tourist attraction to people. This, is nauseating to me. There isnt a god damned day I dont feel a sadness inside for what happened here. I see it- every- fucking- day.

So when I hear everybody and their mother think they have a qualified opinion on what goes on here in New York in relevance to the World Trade Center- you can imagine what I feel.

Yet, I tolerate you.

You, who would be no better than Jim Crowe or Hitler and take people’s rights away simply because you have the need… the NEED to hate.

I have to leave this job. I have seen too much of what the general public is like, and honestly, it’s killed my faith in mankind, and even American Ideals.

This country is filled with corruption and bigotry. People, who even if we do have the worst ecducational system in the world, should know better, should recognize that NONE OF US COME FROM THIS LAND! They don’t have the basic kindness and common sense to ever allow me to think this world will be a better place.

Honestly, I’m ok with not having kids now that I’ve worked here, and heard all of you people and your “opinions”.

No one, not one organization in the world, has stepped up to say, when they do build the Mosque, we will come to help. We will lay brick and mortar with you in the name of Peace and for the end of violence and aggression between the faiths of this world.

That, is truly sad.

I’m reading America’s Hidden History by Kenneth C. Davis right now, and in the first few pages alone, I’ve learned the fact that most of history’s conflict, has alwys been about religion. World wide.

I am of no faith, but support any theology that gives people comfort- and no theology that looks to convert or to keep people from their own choice.

I thought once the Bush administration left office, I could be proud to be an American again… but I see that isn’t going to happen. There are just too many hateful bigoted stupid ignorant people in this country and I can’t defend you anymore.

Thanks, all of you.

Thanks for ruining what could have been a wonderful country.

And in a way, maybe thats how we should deal with you. Let you have the country and let you run it into the ground with your hate. When you get yourselves destroyed, we, the peaceful intelligent and tolerant people can come back and be better off.

Change is good they say?

Well let’s see how this change in theme works out. I liked Hemmingway. It was dark and serious like me. But this one caught my eye today. Lets see what happens.

The Road. Movie, based on book by Cormac McCarthy; Lessons learned.

Lessons Learned…

1. The end is near.

2. Ya better be ready. In every way.

3. Women are quitters. If y’can’t keep them comfortable, they kill themselves.

4. Men are stubborn, and don’t kill themselves when they probably should.

5. If you have an attachment to supposed “good” things, such as benevolence to others, generosity, kindness to others… you’ll have a harder time surviving in a world without laws and government to protect you- than one who is selfish and self serving.

6. The apocalypse (non-religious), will not be pretty in any way, back to lesson #2.

Seriously though, I’m sure, as is always the case, there is a lot more in the book. So hints the Wiki page with the reference to a newborn being roasted on a spit.

My thoughts are if that’s what’s going on in CM’s mind, he should maybe pick up the paint brush and give Geiger and Manson a run for their money.

I watch these kinds of movies and it goes through my mind what I would do… I wouldn’t, if dragging around a young son, be walking up to houses I haven’t thoroughly scouted out- we’re talking watching the house until nightfall. You’re in a rush? Where do you have to be? All appointments have been cancelled due to the apocalypse. You’re hungry? Hmm, gonna be less hungry in a few hours? Less hungrier when you’re watching them hack your kid to bits and offering you a bit of son-bacon? No. You dig in and watch. You do what you do right, because you have no second chances and the cost of failure is too high to even consider.

I wouldn’t, once in those houses, be scurrying about raising a ruckus searching for a tool to open a locked cellar, without searching the entire house for signs of cannibalism, if I am aware this is what people are engaging in. If you see signs, you KNOW what’s down there- and you also know you didn’t wait and watch long enough- and it’s time to go. Now.

I wonder too who these movies are made about? Who are these books written about? I’d like to think I’d be less inept in dire circumstances. Is this the average Joe? Is this the author? Are most people THAT passive? How does he not have more than one gun? I’d have had at LEAST one just having a pregnant wife BEFORE the apocalypse. The kid was five years old or more when the wife decided to take a walk… you DIDN’T have time to acquire yourself some traveling security? There wasn’t a what-if lightbulb flickering in your head somewhere? With that kind of time I’d of had gone out, gotten myself a suitable truck or bus, fortified it, loaded it up with fuel, weapons and supplies, maybe gotten a neighbor or two to join  the team (gotta think about the kid’s chances at procreating too), and been ready for when the time comes we stop sitting around on our asses waiting for the establishment to respond.

You watch this kind of thing, and you think this way, and then you understand why the lady, mother of a child, decides to eat it. This guy is just sitting around waiting saying I love you baby- I mean really? Come on? I love you isnt going to feed or protect the family.

But then again, I do think that for all one can be prepared for the fall of civilization- the irony will be that the environment that affords you that likely honest evaluation is likely the very reason you’ll never even get the chance to prove it.

I live in New York.

If it’s a man made catastrophe that brings about the end of the world as we know it- I’m already dead.

If it’s a natural disaster- this is a coastal city in the north east. What are the chances I’m drowned under a tsunami or something?

All I’m saying is… when it’s on, you get up and you go. Get the shit you’re gonna need to survive, if you don’t already have it.

In respect to suicide and mass hysteria, over confidence in religion and government, these kinds of movies all share a similar opinion I agree with.

In fact, for me at least- it doesn’t take a cataclism for me to say what these movies say about those subjects. Most people are idiots, when the fit hits the shan smart or not you’ll realize it’s really just a personal choice whether you want to stay among the living or not and most- probably won’t have the faith in either themselves, government or their god to stick it out anyway.

Lucky it’s just a movie huh?

Come to think of it when the world shits on itself, I would head right to the nearest Starbucks, seize it, fortify it, and when the dust settles, make a killing on bartering for cinnamon dolce lattes.

HNIC here I come.

Why?

June 23, 2010 Comments off

Why is it in a person’s custom to introduce themselves to an anonymous someone answering a phone in an office somewhere?

If you’re calling an individual in some rergard- it’s understandable, necessary and polite… but if you’re calling a public office or a business, such as a customer service center and you’re not required to identify your account- then why are you stating your name?

Who cares who the fuck you are?

**

Why when you give someone exactly what they are looking for- because you know what they need, since it’s your job to recognize their needs as soon as they state them clearly- do those people question your determination- if they came to you for the answer they couldn’t figure out for themselves in the first place?

**

Why are most people opposed to clear communication? Why must they find the path most complicated towards reaching their goal- when communicating?

**

Why can’t most people just recognize, and answer, a Yes or No question when asked?

Why must they respond with a story? An elaboration on details that if they were of any consequence – you would’nt have had to interrupt them with a Yes or No question.

**

Why can’t people learn to simply ask for what they want in a direct way? Why must people approach the attaining of information by telling you a story? Is this some ghetto form of communication I simply do not comprehend?

Why must I interrupt a “story” and ask- “What are you looking for?” – “What can I help you with?” – “Who do you want to speak to!?”??

**

These questions plague my mind every single god damned day, before and after I pick up the phone at work, several, and I mean several times- throughout the day.

People are generally stupid it seems. They clog their lives with unecessary irrelevant habits and customs preventing them from acheiving their goals, by preventing them from their own clarity of thought.

This, is the first and foremost reason I sincerely believe mankind is doomed to eventual extinction.

Most, are stupid in these ways and are followers who need to be led, but leaders are corrupt. Greed for money and power ruin any possibility of the evolutionary advancement of the human race.

There is no talking sense to most people. Instead of trying to get to a higher point- a point of progression- a mutual advanced understanding- all most people want to do is make it an arguement, and win that arguement- so they feel like they accomplished something- even if in accomplishing it- they held up their own advancement- and especially if they held up yours.

Misery, loves company they say. And the human race, however benevolent or gracious they may think they are- are miserable.

I’m for the closing of this chapter in the history of existence. This human thing is a failure.

Good Morning Jehovah!

I work for the City of New York I’ve sometimes revealed. The office in which will remain a mystery to you. But an occasional perk of my employment and the location of my office is the opportunity to have a seat in City Hall Park when I have time before work. In the spring and summer the fountain is pretty cool. Relaxing. I don’t give a flying fuck about the law, but I used to work for the Parks Department, so if I want a smoke, I’ll stand just outside of the park and have that before I go in and take a bench.

Now, in any wilderness you have predators of course. Those predators lurk in areas the prey would frequent. In this concrete wilderness the predators seem to lurk about in the oasis’ of Parks. To cal them predators is probably flattering, and it depends on the prey of course- but sometimes I see them more like scavengers. Like vultures. And it seems the Predator or Vulture must like this particular park, as it’s been my experience on more than one occasion to be approached with “a question” regarding either life or the world in general- but all in all question is always bait to lead you into a conversation about Christ.

Today’s Vulture was a Jehovah’s witness.

Well Jesus H. Christ I thought to myself.

Nice enough guy, but do I really look like a lost soul?

I wasn’t thinking about God at the moment to tell you the truth. I rarely do that anymore. for myself- i got that shit all figured out. I was just having my smoke taking in the scenery, rather habitually checking out the passers by, thinking about the great morning I just had with my girlfriend and how lucky I am- getting used to that feeling really- and here comes this guy with his “question”.

After I grant permission for him to enter my world like allowing a vampire to enter your home, “What do you think would need to change” he asks, “to make the world a better place?”

Off the top of my head, I answer “Government”. And I know him already- this guy, his type. He’s a nicer one than usual. I don’t sense that aire of condescention coming from him, like the thought behind his eyes that must go something like “fudge, I have to convert this (insert racial epithet of your choice here so as not to sully this post with my ethnic distinction and to allow you to personalize the experience)?” As has been the case at times. No, this guy seems genuine and nice. But little does he know…

He may not the actual predator at the park today. His will not be the predominant message, and he may not be the one to walk away from the conversation having converted anyone- but maybe- just maybe, he may be the one converted.

We talk for a while and he busts out the little bible and drops some quotes on me. We talk a while longer and I see I’ve got a ringer here. This guy is a true believer. Blind faith… Nothing blind is gonna see you anywhere I like to say.

Now comes MY baited question…

“So you wanna know what I beleive in?”

this is after I gauged him well with a “so what about gay marriage?” query- threw him off while he tried to answer and simultaniously figure out if I was gay. Releived him by saying after his bible-assisted answer, “as a straight man with gay friends, theyre great people and any kind of future in any kind of society has to include all its citizens, not admonish or jusdge them for whomever they choose to be, but accept them and make room for them under new categories of law if not ammending the ones already in place”…

From him: Bla – bla – bla – bible. Something about angels and Sodom and Gamorah???

I thought to myself- Seriously? In this day and age? Angels?

But anyway, my question was what I beleived in, and I told him- Everything is Energy. You, I, the gate I’m leaning on, the bible in your hand- the thoughts in your mind are all Energy- and to me- THAT is God. Religion- the bible, the koran, the talmud, all written by man in times of little understanding of the world around them. No sooner would you follow a modern day psychic today- but you follow one six thousand years old right there in your hand. No offense I said, but thats how I’ve coem to reconcile religion in my journey to define God. I’ve been on the verge of converting to and adopting almost all the popular theologies- so it doesn’t come with a light heart that I share this with you- and I don’t think aout this all the time either- but since you brought it up- here it is. God is the energy that binds us all- all living things and all matter existing on this earth and likely the universe around us. As with your scripture and many others, to know the name of God would likely destroy you- and so it would be if you could comprehend with our limited capacity- 10% of our brains is what we can use according to science?- the relationship between all matter in this universe.

I told him there was a book written called Three Magic Words and I couldn’t remember the author then, but right now I recall it being Wayne Dyer (i think), and the three magic words- were You Are God. In it’s way if not directly- this book described the theory of energy I feel I have discovered for myself- and I’ve found others who have done the same.

If you and I, I told him, accept our responsibility as Gods, being the givers and takers of life that we are- both figuratively and literally- then with that mutual respect, I think between us we can make our acquaintance a good one. When you and I part ways- we will give each other life by imparting positive energy between us- we will shake nads, and respect each other and wish each other a good day. If only but in an infinitessimal fraction of influence- we have given each other life- instead of cursing each other and taking life away. The energy we exchange will carry on and effect the rest of our day- and by relation the rest of the people in our lives. This is God. This, what we can do here and now, between us, if done by the rest of the world- will make the world a better place. Love, what Jesus supposedly taught- and respect.

And we didnt need thousand year old text, names of gods, rules and regulations, the threat of hell or admonsihment or excommunication or expelsion to make this happen.

All we needed to do was accept that we are creatures of this earth, we are comprised of the same stuff everything else and everyone else around us is, and we have to respect each other for the power we have equally to give, and take life- as gods of our universe.

We didnt need a third party as most religions seem to proliferate- to mediate, threaten or dictate.

Well Mr. Jehovah seemed to have glossy eyes now. Glazed over with maybe being overwhelmed. I don’t think he liked the part where I said my theory explains his, and his and every other theology are just evolutionary pre-texts to mine.

He closed the dialogue as quickly as he could, we shook hands as I said we would, and wished each other a good day. He went his way and I went mine. I long since finished my cigarette and strolled over to a bench where I continued thinking about the hot sexy morning I had with my girlfriend and how lucky I’ve been in love lately… in the distance over to the right of me I could see my Vulture turned Prey form moments before… Striking up a conversation with a cougar sitting by herself.

It’s too bad he can’t just continue his day and enjoy his life- he has to do that thing he did with me all over again in the name of his … God?

Good luck buddy. It’s the year 2010. How long are you going to keep that recruitment thing up? It’s no wonder religion is still holding man-kind back, when guys like that are so eager to follow, instead of lead in their own lives.

Gawd.

How a caveman saves my life each day…

This is an old one I think about in unrelated ways so many times each day the challenge in writing about it now is peeling it off the insides of my mind without tearing it to shreds like that as-is sale price sticker that’s razor cut in all directions (and you can’t imagine why they do this to the sticker?) on the trendy chairs you bought from Ikea for your kitchen that you would have never paid full price for since really theyre just a little wood and cheap metal screwed together- but youre truly grateful for the opprotunity since without them the favorite picture of your girlfriend laughing in a little black dress where she looks amazing and so happy would have never been possible.

Can you say run-on-sentence?

But yes, I digress, and not only to impress…

So every day we hear about this or that which effects our lives in a negative way- remember the Acid Rain craze back in the day? Did I just date myself? If so- fuck it, maybe you’re too young to get in this club. Most recently- Salt is the enemy- right? I just read how Semen has cholesterol in it- what will this do to my sex life? Now you’re wondering if I’m gay- aren’t you?

But seriously folks, how many other things are we always hearing from the media? I remember being told to drink alot of water if I wanted to lose weight. Then years later- hearing how drinking too much water can literally kill you!

Too much coffee is bad for you- but yet, now the body supposedly gets water from wherever it needs it- liquid or solid that’s ingested- right? Having lived on coffee for days on end myself- I can attest to this fact. Too much coffee will not kill you. It will only make your pee smell fresh brewed.

And ladies, Semen is 99% water- only 1% Sperm, so as long as your man is eating a lot of fruit for taste- come on down and wet-yer-whistle!

I’m waiting for the new studies that are bound to come out on Sugar- no one is using Sugar, Sucre, Azucar anymore are they? It’s SO bad for us! I just came from Starbucks now and I couldn’t subsidize my guilty pleasure visit by stealing a little Splenda because everyone else seems to prefer it over the pink and blue brands (or they’re stealing it before I can)- which I won’t mention by name because I am making a mental note to buy Splenda stock man, wtf, can’t support or advertise the competition after all.

I’m waiting- and I can bet we’ll get both an alert about sweeteners and the health risks associated to them- again- and the benefits of natural sugar in our diets- like with drinking. Moderation – moderation – moderation. A little bit of anything- isn’t a bad thing.

Except Dick- right ladies? Is it just me or god dammit don’t ladies just want more and more dick? If I have to hear ready for round four one more time – I’m tellin’ ya I’m just gonna lop it off. You hold your breath till I do. But seriously, if dick were salty, there’d be some high choleterol havin’ bitches out there. And ladies, if you’re thinking- but wait- dick IS salty- then you need to tell your man to take a bath.

And don’t get me wrong- I’m not gonna go gay because of too much pussy- no way. But I may take a break for a minute and play my xbox. I’m just saying- give a guy a break- act like I can’t get it so I wanna chase it, and then you ‘ll get all you want.

Moderation when it comes to Dick too. Moderation Media! Tell the ladies!

But that’s what they do- the media- telling us the obvious- because we’re too stupid to figure it out for ourselves.

Like with Soda-pop? Yeah I said pop. I like the way it sounds.

Soda is baaaaad for you said the nanny goat. Tax dat shit!

Well I can’t remember any more of these examples but you get the gist of it- and my whole thing is- fuck it.

Did I suprise you? Not if you’ve read my blog before I didn’t.

A fucking Cave Man saves my life every god damned day. Because if I want some Sugar, I’ll have it. If I want a Cigarette- I’ll have it. If I want one more drink- I’ll have it. If I want a bag of Doritos that are packed with preservatives and Salt, a Steak, another cup of Coffee, or anything someone else may say “hey- that’s not so good for you- you better watch it” I say fuck it, deep fry me another!

Why? Because I think of the Cave Man… No one was around looking into shit and broadcasting to Bedrock how this that and the other thing is bad for you today- and OK for you tomnorrow as long as you don’t do too much.

The Cave Man did what the fuck he wanted, when he wanted, as he needed and as he pleased. He lived loud and proud and didn’t have to be gay to say so. He wasn’t “trying” to live any longer than what was coming to him. He was content living Today- and if he saw some cute cave woman ass he wanted to take a bite out of- he didn’t think to himself “hmm, that ass may be high in cholesterol”. Nope, he just bonked her over the head and bit that ass. Yum!

Maybe a little salty considering the times, what with no soap and all.

Find me the gliph where the Cave Man was bitchin about the price of… Anything! You know the saying. But you dont see any cave paintings depicting toomuch fat on the mamoth meat so eat the shrubs instead do ya? No. Cave Man didn’t give a shit.

That helps me out in my daily decision making process believe it or not.

Of course I think of one other thing… the occasional story we hear of the athlete or just the plain clean living guy who keels over of a heart attack one day. He was a vegetarian, ran x amount of miles a week- never smoked a day in his life and said No to drugs – god bless’em!

Give him back his last day of life and I bet that fucker would fuck a high priced hooker without a condom while eating a steak and doing lines of coke off her back and wash it all down with a beer and shot of Yeager between puffs off his Malboro 100’s.

Point is, this is life mother fuckers. Live it.

Of course, don’t over do it to a point you’re not enjoying yourself anymore- because then you’re just a dick. But please, Vegans for example- lighten the fuck up. Yes, we are human and we CAN be above it- but really? Why should we?

Our very existence on this planet- the way we are- our society- so called humanity- by nature extinguishes life around us.

Who was better than us? The Eskimos? Fuckers killed whales and seals to live- had their numbers increased- do you thiknk they’d have an Eskimo Greenpeace? No. The Polar Bears would have been next.

Who else? The American Indians? They already smoked Tobacco and the wacky tabaccy when Europeans got here to fuck them up. Thay had and still have Peyote, and well, they would have invented Cocaine and Alcoholic beverages eventually with their sense of experimantation- so really? We’d still have a polluted and used up world one way or another. There is no pure human race. At it’s best- humanity can only be delayed in destroying the Earth. There is no stopping it. If there is- prove me the fuck wrong.

I told a Greenpeace guy the other day- in response to his jovial opener “hey! you look like an environemtally concious kind of guy!” – I said “really? that’s funny cause’ I’m a nihalist” as I tipped my Starbucks at him and lit a cigarette after he made a snide comment about “good luck with that”- for which I thanked him of course. No need to be rude to the panzy.

I just thought to myself- if the fit WAS to hit the shan- I’d like to find him and ask him to go save a whale instead of thnking about his own survival.

Me? I’ll eat Him for dinner when the zombie’s rise. Shit, there are some days in recent history that this fucker better stay away from the barbeque sauce if I’m broke three days to payday- he’s out saving a whale? The fucking audacity of this asshole when there are people starving on the streets!

And why the fuck is he on my New York City sidewalk when he should be swimming around int he gulf saving a fucking pelican that didnt know any better and would have died if dumb bleeding heart humans didnt take it upon themselves to save the fucking pelican’s life anyway!

I mean seriously?!?! If the Pelican, with its huge underbeak, were known for lets say… stealing babies by swooping down and grabbing them up in their beak sack and hauling them away to be slowly picked at and eaten alive for weeks.. do you think we’d be saving them from the gulf disaster?

Nope. I’m sure humans would be like – good, die baby killer.

Well I bet the Pelican kills enough fish babies- why dotn you care abotu that and let the buird just die. It’s nature! Leave it alone!

If the Pelican survives now, in numbers greater than nature dictated, and in their population they develop a strain of bacteria that would have otherwise been culled by nature- a bacteria that attacks the human immune system- and one we can’t find a cure for because we need one now that we’ve weakened our own natural immune systems with anti-biotics for sure- then who do we blame for that perversion of nature?

I’m not cleaning no pelicans that’s for sure. I respect every creature’s right to commit stupi-cide. If that creature is too stupid to stay away from some stink ass oil- maybe it deserves to die?

Maybe its the rotting corpses of all the dead sea life that would have kept the oil from reaching shore!? Maybe it’s the Pelicans and Turtles and whatever else is out there that died in the Gulf that were trying to save Us?!?! Ever think about that?

How about if those were the stupid Pelicans- and by saving them we prevented the survival of the fittest for that species and have subsequently delayed the progress of that species to reaching higher intelligence by forcing the stupid gene back into circulation when nature was trying to eliminate it so one day Pelicans can rule the world?

What if?

Remember those comics? Those were the shit.

But again- I kid thee, but seriously, what if… and I double-digress…

I gave in to a cute store bought redhead goth chick the other day and adopted a kid from her… a moment of weakness… I liked her tattoos… oh shush my girlfriend hadn’t told me she loved me yet so it’s ok… but I specifically told her “a kid from Peru”…

My mom is from Peru and there is a lot of poverty there- so though I may not always have a buck in my pocket, but I have fat on my ass that can carry me to the next meal- they don’t have that gluttonous American privilege.

Guess what? I get the thing in the mail- they gave me a kid in Colombia… I look at the receipt- Peru isnt even on that list… Fuckers jipped me and pawned off a Colombian kid… Dude I live in Woodside, I helped a Colombian kid when I went one neighborhood over to Jackson Heights and ate at Natives (on 82nd and Northern Blvd btw, Queens- excellent food!) with my girlfriend last weekend and feasted. I don’t need to adopt no Colombian kid??? They have cartels and militants and kidnappers that can do that shit over there- they don’t need Me!?!?

So you see? Cave Man could have saved me $22 right there had I listened to him. But I didn’t. Flirty goth punk chick with the nice boobies, damn.

In the end- Cavey saves my life because he makes my life richer and fuller and worth living. If I don’t listen to Cave Man and take his advice about making the most of this life while I have it- and not worrying so much about the contents of a meal or the ultimate consequences of that recreational drug, lol, and when he waxes all buddha-poetic-surfer about accepting life and its choices for you- as well as the choices you have to make- then I know I’ll end up where as he calls it- under the mammoth’s ass after breakfast.

What he means is- I’ll end up with regrets.

Pass the tostones and the chicharon, I know they’re deep fried, but theyre fucking good.

And that’s what I wanna say when I take my last breath.

That shit was fuckin gooood.

Not- I wish I had… irrk.

Thanks Cave Man!

My IDGAF hero.

(Side note; Girlfriend trumps Cave Man because she loves me- for her I GAF)