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Voting; An exercise in Stupid.

November 2, 2010 Leave a comment

The announcement says “this train is out of service” – I don’t get on and take a seat expecting to get anywhere.

The bike has two flat tires, I don’t get on and start peddling- expecting to get anywhere, without completely messing up the bike, and looking like a fool.

The machine has a sign on it that says “OUT OF ORDER” – I do not, put money in, expecting to get anything in return…

So why the F… am I going to vote?

The argument, because you can, and others can’t, is not enough justification for me to push smaller people out of the way when I’m getting on that train every day, so how is it enough justification to do something in support of a broken and corrupt system? Do you need three examples of that one as well?

America has no balls. Some time after World War II America became a mass of media zombie followers. If you can create a catchy media campaign, Americans will follow. After the supposed terrorist attack that brought down the World Trade Center on 9.11.2001 (I refuse to call it 9.11 unless I am OK with disrespecting the memory of those who died that day with the abbreviation all too commonly used by lazy Americans), if you provided the masses enough fear- they followed along as well- or rather- stood by and said nothing as you openly abused the power of the nation to rape an entire country of people to further capitalist needs of a too fat, too greedy country of again… zombies.

The reason I say this country has no balls anymore is because as much as we all KNOW the system is broken- no one – says “No”, like I am- and not putting their hand in the till in support of the exact machine that is broken.

NO ONE!

If they do- they’re not vocal enough, they’re just lazy and using this as an excuse.

With a population like this there is no possibility of revolutionary change- the only change that can fix something that’s damaged to this degree- and no I don’t mean armed or violent revolution- I mean rational dismantling of a system that has needed euthanizing for a long time.

It’s obvious to me- how is it not to you?

This high school drop out, GED sprinkled with a few college credits brown collar aspiring artist worker who has wasted his life chasing love and only a year ago began his journey towards true personal fulfillment can see the obviousness of the national situation- and you, all of you, over educated, over fed and over paid sloven Americans who swear you know so much- can’t! You just keep feeding the machine that the very candidates tell you is broken.

Hey, I’m a drug addict, give me money! No, I’m not a drug addict, but that statement is the equivalent. And you all go vote, you give the drug addict money.

I’ve voted, a long time ago, the first year that I could vote- I voted. But since, I’ve slowly learned, election after election- that no one’s vote makes a difference- when the system itself is broken.

As long as we keep feeding a broken machine, we will be willing participants in our our own victimization.

Does anyone else watch the news and feel misrepresented? Does anyone else watch the Daily Show and wonder how it is the majority population can have one opinion, and the representation seems clueless? That’s a corrupt broken machine.

No vote.

No participation in that.

No thank you.

So in the next two, four, eight years, when I watch the news, I CAN make a comment. I CAN complain, when you would think it would be voting that would give me the right- it’s the opposite that’s true. If you vote, sure, you can complain about your candidate- but that’s my point! I can complain about yours and theirs and theirs – ALL OF THEM! Because I am standing on my point on election day and saying IT”S FUTILE AND BROKEN!

A loud resounding “I TOLD YOU SO!”

Enough about that… I’m sure the response, if one at all, because dismissal is so much easier- right fatso? The response would be “so what would you do then?”

And if you read my sh*t, or know me at all, do you really think I don’t have an answer?

~ If you want true representation you have to take away the possibility of personal gain. Take away- as much as possible because greed is a humanism you can’t take away completely- the possibility of corruption. How do you do this? Among other ways, you must fist do the following…

1. Make service to your country a non-profit occupation. Take away the salary. Hand them an EBT card, and say with that- you pay your rent, you buy your food, you clothe yourself, you send your kids to school and if you need one and can’t use public transportation or we don’t have a government car pool you can jump on, then you can get an economical hybrid or full electric car as well. But you have to show justification.

That’s right- put the fuckers on welfare! Well, a comfortable welfare for sure- but one where they draw no salary from their service to the country. Sure, you can allot a small percentage towards retirement, that’s just fiscal responsibility, but that’s it.

You won’t see a blatantly corrupt- or future-corrupt candidate running for office because they get to keep campaign finance (referred to below*) funds or the residuals from holding those funds- or seeking election for personal gain anymore.

Yeah yeah yeah I know- the incentive for corruption may seem like it’s ignited with that kind of change- but it’s not. The representative is not barred from making his or her own money, but they are most certainly watched like a hawk.

By who?

2. The new DIVISION of (take your pick) an already established agency such as the FBI or NSA, or whoever- charged with the oversight of all elected official’s finances. It’s public service- so disclosure is already required.

*3. Dismantle the campaign finance system and institutionalize it. Contributions can be made in the name of a particular candidate- but they’re made to a government pool that ALL candidates draw from equally. So when company X decides to slather their candidate with green to try and overwhelm the constituency with media coverage and push out the competition by sheer force of consciousness- they know they are actually helping ALL the candidates to spend equally. “EQUAL REPRESENTATION” … SOUND FAMILAIR?????

What we have now is a bought system. If you have the money to buy the media and inform the public of your candidate, over any information a lesser funded candidate can do for themselves- you bought the vote. This would not be true if all Americans did do the work of informing themselves- but what was it I said before? People in this country are fat and lazy for the most part- they wait for everything to come to them, and only the minority actually go out and get informed on their own.

Make candidate information equal for all. Make it so that all can make an informed and equal decision. Take ads off TV, put them all in one place, either one channel and radio station anyone can tune into and listen to nothing but candidate information 24 hours a day, and/or bring the candidate information to the public in newsletter form.

What we have now is a god damned circus that makes us all look foolish. A desperate grab of media time that is both intrusive and indicative of the obvious corruption that’s sure to follow.

Finally, 4. Dismantle the party system. I don’t think I need to make this case- but seeing how I do think about this stuff productively and you don’t, obviously, maybe I do.

Either make it impossible for mega-parties to usurp the free public’s voice and needs of government (you’re on your own with regulation), or you dismantle the parties altogether. What do the candidates run on then? what do they run on now? THE F*cking ISSUES. The Platform. The principles, policies, and goals they all run on anyway- just no mega-party affiliation which contributes only to the problems we have now.

Special interests don’t have to come into your community to change your mind- they just have to make a major mega-party contribution and their influence has just usurped your voice. Case closed. 

Something I daydream about all the time- is what would happen if no one voted in protest?

I wonder what would happen, what they would do? Would they listen? If we had a voice and actually used it, rather than following along doing what they tell us to do to keep their corrupt system in place- feeding them- those who are all up in it already. That’s the only group government really works for as things are now, and as you are voting to keep in place today for tomorrow. You are voting to keep the one’s making a living at it- making a living at making it NOT work for the people- employed. Yet if you did the job they’re doing, would you still have your job, or would that position even exist anymore? I think not.

WE, work for THEM, in that sense- and its the worst crying shame that this is what we have allowed this country to become.

 

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There is nothing on my mind except…

October 13, 2010 Leave a comment

That politics is and are, ridiculous.

American society has become ridiculous. If we’re not too fat, we’re too stupid. We’re definitely too complacent. We like to complain and complain but we don’t get up and do somehting about it. And those that do, like the Tea Party, bad example perhaps, but the only one available- are ridiculed for the beleifs they stand up for. Yes, they’re racist cheap white Amercians with nothing but more complaints and no soplutions, being used by a darker power hiding in the wings… but they are actually at least standing up for something and making some noise.

It’s all just perverse. I read abotu it all the time, all day, every day- a n opinion on politics is like the old sayiong about an opinion on anything- it’s like an asshole, everyone’s got one, and no matter what all it produces is shit.

MyfriendAngelo Rodriguez,may he rest in peace, used to say- “ok, stop talking shit, what are you gonna do about it?” after hearing you out intently and quietly. He left us too soon, and he was right.

The Establishment, is broken. Humanity is perverse, greedy, corrupt, self serving. Too self serving to ever expect that whatever group in power will serve all of the people. Humanity can’t help itself- it will always divide and ostracize. Humanity is insecure, so it has to single out “the other ones” and put them down to maintain its own self esteem. Use god, use money, use skin color, use sexuality- use whatever you like- there will always be something to use and there will always be a human being ready and willing to use it.

There is no governemnt on the face of the erth that seems to have gotten it right. That is, if “right:” means the prosperity of ALL of the people.

If “right” means squashing the less fortunate, and is a perception set forth by those more fortunate, those on the top, the rich, the equivalent of what monarchies were… then sure, it’s working fine. Exceptionally well in fact, since we have no revolutions anymore, since people don’t stand up together and force change anymore- when things are as wrong as they have ever been.

Since people, are easily fooled into thinking what doesnt work, like the present system, is somehow going to work, once the billionth band aid is tacked on.

Fuck Politics.

And I, will be no different than you, in respect of doing nothing about it- other than to do this nothing, honestly, and not pretend I don’t see what’s going on.

Until someone, or some group, stands up and begins the clean up, from the top to the bottom-andisbackedupbyan unyeilding force, loyal to no one and no thing more than the commitment to the cause- I’m going to keep this “opinion” and pont of view- what I think, is an honest one. And pray, in my own non-religious way, every day- that that if it allcant just come crashing down and level the playing field for the have – not’s, and a better society can be put together from the ashes, then that I should get my shot at whatever type of freedom I can attain to live the rest of my life like a big Fuck You to the system, and assure that any proginy I mistakenly and selfishly bring into this unfair society gets the opportunity only to do the same.

Have a Nice Day!

Snapshot of a New Yorker, if not an American in general

I work in a government office with a publicly published phone number. This as you can imagine, has it’s drawbacks. Aside from the pun that the drawback may be every single member of the general public who calls, and how satisfying it is to rerer to them all as Drawbacks because the name seems to fit so well, so often, here I offer you a tiny little snapshot of the general mentality of a citizen of this country.

Since this is a published phone number, with the right research, anyone can call. The title of the office indicates contact to a high office in government, but c’mon, really? You don’t know better than to think you’re really going to dial a number you found somewhere on the internet or in a book somewhere and THAT person is going to answer the phone do you?

Well, it’s a rhetorical question- because I’m here writing THIS aren’t I?

Now, lets go down the list, in no particular order of course, of the levels of stupidity it takes to use this number before we go on to your snapshot. There are some reasons people may have to use this number which are “no fault” as I’ll refer to them and indicate as such. Now, I’m giving the benefit of the doubt as I write this, and I might actually be suprised myself to find that the label may only apply to one or two reasons. But lets see…

~ You live in a small municipality or a “town” or “township” where the title of this office indicates to you that you can recieve certain services from it. This is a “no fault” reason. You’re a hick of sorts and that’s cute. We forgive you here in the big city and we’ll show you some kindness as we smirk at your naivete and pass you along to where you should be calling. Maybe even with a little politeness and explanation that will educate you on the ways outside your quaint American Norman Rockwell bubble.

~ You ACTUALLY DO see the title of the office and say “let me speak to the xxxxx” when we pick up the phone. You, are an idiot, and you make us wish there was a Hitler button on the phone we could press for a final solution to you. Or at least a pre-final one, like a sterilization button to prevent you from passing on the stupid gene.

Well that list was alot shorter than I thought it would be. I guess there are only two types of stupids that use the number after all. Forgive me for getting your hopes up, I do have to engage in a certain amount of self imposed denial to be able to get to work each day and deal with these undiagnosed retards you must understand.

Everyone else who uses the number has a reference by which they can state who it is they wish to speak to and we connect the call accordingly. This includes the elected official who holds the office by which this office is named. He, and these, are intelligent if not methodical and logical people. The minority of the population. Usually this exchange takes no more than a few seconds, at most. So you can understand when a retard gets a hold of the number, how frustrating it is to have to listen to their rusty wheels turning for ten times that amount of time just to BEGIN the phone call after the greeting.

As if, the availability of this number to the general public wasn’t bad enough, there is no exclusivity to stupidity of course, and so the organizers of morons, such as Unions, sometimes use their own lack of intelligence, thoughtfulness, thoroughness or implement their abundant laziness and apply this number to some cause they would like to enlist their army of members to petition this office for.

Now, this would be, and likely is thought to be, by those supposed leaders of men, a radical and impressive idea- right? Except for the fact that this city spends hundreds of thousands of dollars on advertising the three digit number for EXACTLY that type of action, and some dumbkoff in those Union offices completely disregarded the likely dozens of public references they pass each day to the number they SHOULD be enlisting their members to be calling, and likely every reference to the number they come across in their dealings WITH the city their union probably does business with each and every day- and made the executive dumbkoff decision to apply this number instead when he or she signed off on the campaign.

Let me be clear… Some asshole in a Union Office, overlooked something so simple and wasted not only the money and time of his union and union members by using THIS number- he or she also cost the entire city time and money because now we here in this office have to redirect and educate those misdircted callers to the appropriate number in order for them to accomplish their goal.

This is how you have come across your snapshot today, and here it is…

Good Morning, the office of the xxxxx.

“I just got a call that said I should-”

– Who called you sir?

“uhm, well, I… ”

-You don’t know who called you?

“it just said to press the number 1 and…”

-So sir, you don’t know who it was that called you and you are following instructions from the call?

-Are you a member of a union perhaps?

“no, I’m retired”

-I see, well in any case sir you may have once been a member of a union, we are recieving many calls from union members this week directed to us via an automated message such as the one you describe, the number you should call to express your opinion on the matter in question is xxx.

“oh… well… how about we just nevermind then?”

-how about that then, that’s fine, you have a good day.

“click”

And there you have it. I have many-many… many-many… many… many other examples. I and others here acquire them each day. If we got paid on commission to morons, we’d be rich and not underpaid public servants.

Mind you, these are just the Morons I’m addressing here and now. I’m not addressing the thick headed people who simply refuse to allow effective communication to penetrate their skulls unless you repeat the same phrase or answer to their question over, and over, and over. At which point do you rarely hear a thank you- but rather an insult for not giving them the answer they imagined in their dimly lit minds before they even dialed the number.

This is the lot that gave us eight years of purgutory in the White House. Those who are now very busy pointing the finger at another lot who have given us nothing better. This is America.

Let me not forget to mention that on a popular show I watch I heard the reference to Americans being lazy brainless zombies or something to that effect, and I realized the guilt I sometimes feel for the harshness of my opinions, the self depricating criticism I privately subjugate myself to as I brush off that voice in the back of my head made up of all the ex girlfriends I’ve ever had and my mother before them- that says Danny, chill out, maybe it’s you and not them… is wrong, and other people see what I see. And they likely feel what I feel… Shame. Shame for being one of you dumb asses if only in a patriotic sense. Knowing that if one day the country is held accountable for its moronic behavior, that by association, I’d have to take a bullet too.

(note- you know that if your members are SO lazy and inept that you cannot simply mail them a brochure and request they dial a phone number to express an opinion you are requesting them to consider- and you have to set up a dumb-button, for lack of a better term- how likely is it that if you get that number wrong- they will actually bother to pick up the phone again and dial the number they are re-directed to?)

Change is good they say?

Well let’s see how this change in theme works out. I liked Hemmingway. It was dark and serious like me. But this one caught my eye today. Lets see what happens.

The Mosque

As you may or may not know, I hold a position with the City of New York that for obvious reasons I do not disclose here. In this position though, I unfortunately get a uniquely honest perspective on the general public, that the general public isn’t uniquely aware of. Basically what  that means is that I get a look at you from the inside, as opposed to your view from the outside.

I see you, and I do not like what I see.

Now, am I a patient person? In this case I would jump to say no, I am not. But in close self examination, I really am a patient person. It’s just I do not tolerate stupidity. To further delineate, stupidity to me, is ignorance, inconsiderate of others, a disrespect of the personal space of others, and well, right back to fucking ignorance.

The inability of a human being to look at a situation and discern the truth either likely or verifiably behind that situation, is stupidity to me. The inability of a human being, not mentally handicapped, to discern the validity of their opinion in matters they are not directly related to- to me, is abhorrent stupidity.

Let’s use some examples…

~The MTA Preacher, letting everyone know that Jesus is their savior, at the top of their lungs, in their opinion. Stupid. Disrespectful. Ignorant.

~In the same respect, the Mariachis, Solo Guitarists, Saxophone players, Trumpeter, Violinist, Flutist, Break Dancer, Random Singer (any style), Conga Drummer, yes, fucking congas, and any and all Beggars, drug addicted or handicapped or both- ALL Stupid, Disrespectful and Ignorant.

~Anyone and Everyone who gives them the money they’re asking for- also Stupid, Ignorant and Disrespectful- as well as Criminals, since it’s illegal to solicit for money in the train. Oh, you didn’t see the expensive ad campaign plastered all over the system? You are aiding and abetting criminal activity by reaching in your pocket and enabling these people to keep invading the sanctity of my train ride, that I paid way too much for just like you. In the long run, your lack of fortitude and small mindedness cost us all because it takes police to stop these beggars, and the more you enable them, the more police and police time it takes to process those violations. As well as the afore-mentioned ad expense- attempting to educate you- the enabler. As a result, it’s another reason the fares go up. So thank you- asshole. Were you really entertained? Really? I’m glad I helped you pay for that entertainment with that fare- the next time I see you reach in your pocket I should ask you how much you’re going to give me for the annoyance you’re causing me? But I digress as always…

Now, I don’t give much allowance for the fact that this beloved country of mine is the most sloven, fat, uneducated and bored on the face of the earth. It’s blindly patriotic inhabitants are not much more than willingly enslaved easily distracted nincompoops who like felines, chase the bright lights against the wall of their lives whenever those in power choose to manipulate them so.

It’s because I don’t give that allowance, enough at least- that I am constantly banging my head against my own wall of disbelief when I encounter the blatant stupidity of the every day New Yorker.

I have to console myself, that in my position, those that I am not exposed to- are likely so much more impressive examples of humanity, and if I were exposed to them, then I might feel more often that we as a species do deserve the right to be here amongst the supposedly lesser evolved inhabitants of planet Earth.

I don’t console myself enough, and it would take alot of faith to believe that the majority truly do not bring down the better minority of this human race. It takes faith just to believe they exist.

In any case, all of this, in the everyday sense applies to New Yorkers, but only because that’s what I’m exposed to.

Recently, America has afforded me, through the situation with this Mosque being built in the downtown Manhattan New York City area, a wider spectrum of understanding when it comes to how many stupids there really are in this country, as well as how deep the stupidity pool goes.

Wow.

There are alot of morons across the country who first of all, don’t have the common sense (are stupid) to hear about this on their local news and say to themselves, “hmm, interesting” and let it be. They somehow, some way, think it has something to do with them and what’s worse- they actually have a synaptic burst that inclines them to think that their opinion actually matters to anyone here in New York???

On what level I wonder do they come to think that they matter in relation to anything here in New York?

Here is a questionnaire for those who feel the actual need to pick up the phone and call New York City to express their opinion on the Mosque.

1. Did you lose a friend, acquaintance, or loved one in the supposed terrorist attack, specifically the one in New York, on 9.11.2001?

If you did, we are sorry for your loss, and welcome you to participate in the ceremonies every 9.11, but in the case of the Mosque, it has nothing to do with you, unless you are Muslim, and will be worshipping there- or are interested in the property for your own purposes. With all due respect, you have better things to do with your time than to worry about this.

If not, mind your business, this isn’t news, there is freedom of religion in this country as there is freedom of speech, and voicing your opposition to the building of any house of worship borders on exposing yourself as a bigot. Can someone tell me if any Churches have been built anywhere near the Oklahoma City bombing? Any crucifixes erected? Any catholic or Christian idolatry placed near there at all? Are those expressions wrong as well? Because that guy was Christian- wasn’t he? Case closed.

2. On 9.12.2001, were you in the city of New York or on the way to the city of New York to assist with the clean up and recovery?

If so, thank you for your help, but the building of this Mosque has nothing to do with you, unless you’re looking for work in demolition or construction- to help the Mosque be built.

If not, where were you? Did you lift a finger to help at all? Waving a flag doesn’t count. There were alot of people missing, did you help look for them, or were you there, where you are now, as you were that day- talking shit- thinking it matters to anyone but you? Keep your opinion to yourself and those other fools who are burdened with listening as if it matters, and far away from a telephone that can reach a New York phone number.

3. Are you willing to come here and protest the building of the Mosque in person?

If so- Shut up and express this opinion in person when you get to the Mosque’s future location. Make sure to spend as much money as you can while you’re here- most tourists end up spending money at Muslim owned kiosks, vendors, news stands, ATM’s, taxis and shops- Just because the Muslim culture is profoundly entrepreneurial. I love the irony, enjoy your stay.

If not- Shut up. Just shut up. When you’re ready to get up off your ass and stand up for what you believe in, book your trip. We’ll be here waiting for you- you idiot.

Need a place to stay when you get here? Be careful when choosing a hotel. You don’t want to be funding terrorism after all- and many of the hotels, both major and minor, are Muslim owned. May I suggest one of the best ones- Jumeirah Essex House. Its lavish and beautiful and historic. many of the celebrity’s you love, stay there when they come to New York. You would be lucky to get a room. And guess what- they won’t discriminate against you if you’re a bigoted American slob.

I could go on asking redundant questions but the disappointment I feel in people will not go away. If it does, it’s because I successfully put them in the back of my mind for the time being- eventually some moron will come along and remind me of the sad state of affairs in this country, and this city.

I for one, want to leave.

And when I do I’ll come back and visit, and enjoy America, and New York, for the amusement park of freaks it is, and ever will be, it seems.

I bet they don’t approve my comment…

The Blog is called Say it Ain’t So Already where you can go and see the post for the day- 6/21/2010. This is my comment to the post- and I just bet they won’t allow it on the site.

“Sh8t happens. You should have thought about what kind of pelicans you wanted your kids to know before the oil spill and done what you could to make sure regulation of the oil companies was in order. But of course- like most Americans, we don’t give a flying pelicans ass until the fit hits the shan- BECAUSE we didn’t care to pay attention before. So quit your crying and pseudo martydom for your kids- you’ve done a great job at showing them the effects of complacency and non-involvement along with the effects there-from.

You should now be teaching them what fun a greasy pelican can be. God’s pelicans- you kill me! Ha! – HA! God’s Pelican IS the one with tthe oil on it! Or are you not a creature under your own god’s brow? God made you and everyone else complacent- made the oil companies advantageous of that complacency- and now an oily pelican! God WANTED to oils up mother nature and hey- we can all guess what happens after god oils her up! That’s betwen them- if they like involving pelicans in their activities- we should all just respect god’s little fetishes.

Hilarious Post- thanks for the laugh!”

Correction; not “your kids” but your “2 year old friend”… Don’t get me started.

Boycott Commercial Holidays- Or give me Oral Sex

Father’s Day

Mother’s Day

Thanksgiving

Christmas

Valentine’s Day

Easter

Those are the big ones. What makes them different? They are commerically driven. They aren’t about commemorating anything really. Not purely. They’re about making you spend money. They can all be replaced by the sentiment that you should commemorate that occasion every day, every week, every month, every chance you get.

Yes yes yes, the ignorant will argue that those days are “nice” and all that nonsense- but I’ll just say really? Thats nice. I think oral sex is nice, we don’t have an Oral Sex Day where all kinds of interesting sales could happen do we?

No. I celebrate Oral Sex Day all on my own and as often as I can. I don’t need a calendar reminder to tell me that I need to go home and give my significant other oral sex on that day- although if you ask me it’s a day thats needed- especially after Valentine’s Day- so I can get some in return.

So- same as I dont need an Oral Sex Day- I dont need a Father’s Day. Read my short story Lost and tell me how much I need a Father’s Day on my calendar? In fact- I have a step father I appreciate very much and Father’s Day for me- makes it really awkward.

I have a couple friends whose father’s have past away- it makes it very uncomfortable in this fat assed unintelligent country ( I can say this as I am a natural citizen) to be reminding these good people of their loss on this day.

As it is they have two days they commemorate without a national calendar reminding them to – a birthday and a…

Thanks so much.

Can you imagine how much more painful Mother’s Day is?

Screw that.

Don’t get me started on Christmas… Fat Imaginary Magic Man Day.

Derived of religion, bastardized and set on a Pagan Roman Calendar day- why the holy fuck are we still entertaining this charade?

The Day Christ was born… no, it isnt. Do your research.

Leave the religion to the religious.

Anglo Christmas is a ridiculous bullshit celebration of how much money you have and how much you can spoil your children with that capitalist gain.

It’s more appropriately named- Pretend You Care About World Peace and Show Off Your Money Day.

Thanksgiving? Again- you need a day to help you be grateful? OK, lets combine it with Tax Day. Take a look at your bottom line on Tax Day and sign your 1090 or whatever form you deal with- send it off, and feel grateful.

Get together with your family who you haven’t felt grateful for all year and tell them how much you appreciated the fact you didn’t have to tell them you appreciated them all year – just so you could get it out of the way today on Thanks-Tax Day.

Valentine’s Day and Easter- both religious days just as bastardized as Christmas.

One is represented by a bunny- a rodent thats known for how much it can fuck and reproduce- to represent a day of resurrection for Christians…

Get this now… even if you remove the bunny… youre celebrating the resurrection of a human being from the dead.

A zombie.

Easter is a Zombie celebration day.

So lets put on funny hats and paint eggs and hide them in a garden and then send children to go find them???

Why don’t we just add Jesus to the latest version of Left 4 Dead- xbox 360 version please- and call it a day. Literally.

Valentines Day? The fucking nemesis of hipocrisy for a single man. No matter when you start dating a woman- save for the remaining days of February AFTER that shit day- are you saved from the eventual hipocrisy of Valentine’s Day.

St. Valentine.

Who the fuck was he again? Patron saint of WHAT? Don’t tell me- because it won’t make sense to me anyway. It will only make ass-sense. Sense for asses.

For Americans it means going out of your way – like we do for the other unecessary days and telling your sweetheart- your significant other- that you appreciate them.

How?

Verbally? No.

Materially.

You have to go out and BUY shit. Because if you say you love her every day, be supportive of her desires and endeavors, be a man for her when she needs one, whether its with a hammer and nails or with a strong shoulder to cry on or an ear to listen- it won’t mean shit if you dont have flowers on Valentine’s Day- right?

So… as a dating or married man you have an anniversary or two depending on how high maintenance and insecure a woman you’ve paired yourself with… You have her birthday… her parent’s birthdays, your parent’s birthdays, her siblings if any, and the list goes on, holidays all- where you have to shell out money to purchase items representative of your love.

Real Love, according to the American Calendar- does not exist.

It doesn not exist and  you need to be reminded of when to be a human being to your mother, your father, your significant other, your god and then you have to be grateful to them all.

Why? Because you’re probably stupid.

Being American, you’re probably obsessed with money. You should be, you’re gonna need it to keep up with the holidays.

You think this kind of a calendar has anything to do with the national debt? The problems Americans have with their health, their spending, their educations, and basically- everything?

Nahhhhh- right?