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Father’s Day… and forgiveness.

I am disloyal to my Occasional Opinion… I know. I don’t write as much as I should. In my defense I do not want to be a journalist, and this is my disclaimer, and to theme, my forgiveness of my self.

It’s Father’s Day. A difficult day for myself and many others in the States and wherever else this day is celebrated. I put myself with those who cannot wholly celebrate this day… Those who have lost a father to natural causes, or illness, or tragedy… but more so I belong to the subset that cannot celebrate this day traditionally because they have no relationship to their father. Some in this group may never have known their fathers. Among these will be the honored countless veterans children who lost their father’s before they even drew their first breath, or shortly thereafter. My heart and gratitude goes out to these families for the sacrifice they make. Most painful today, and Mother’s Day for those who lost that parent in service to our country and way of life.

There will be those that fit into the aforementioned “tragic” circumstance or illness as well. There will be the abandoned, who through no fault of their own were simply dealt the unfair hand to have the gift of life bestowed upon them by the irresponsible or morally incapable. There will be the adopted, who can be grateful in every way for having found love and caring in the homes of those whose hearts were so big they could impart that precious kind of love to children they had not brought into this world themselves… But who at one time or another have, do, or will think of their birth parents in one way or another. There will be those exactly like me… Who had their fathers in their lives at a young age, for myself up to my later teenage years, and then for whatever reason, no longer have a relationship with them, and possibly like me, do not know if they are even still with us.

There is no group this is easier for than any other. We all, as human beings, need something from those men who fathered us, if only acknowledgement. Some may think it is easier for males than females and there may be some truth to it. There will be argument as to whom a daughter is closer with, their mother or their father, but no argument that the first man in their life should in every respect have been their father. A young lady learns how she should be treated and loved by a man, from her father. If not in how he loves his daughter, then how she sees her father love her mother. We would always hope this involves kindness, patience and love- but we know that in the world we live in that’s not always the case.

For males our fathers are our model for manhood. I’ve read in modern literature the phrase “our fathers are our models for God”, and to some respect it’s true. We learn about being a man from our fathers. We learn every aspect of manhood from that example, everything from how to play sports in some cases, making a living, success and failure, as well as how to live, and love.

When you lose a parent there will be a time you will be angry. This time can go on for years, even a life time, if not blessed with the maturity and wisdom to acknowledge it. It’s a part of loss and grieving. It’s natural. Anger is a deceptive emotion that can sometimes ingrain itself into your being so deeply that you may not even recognize it’s gone dormant for a very long time… until something sparks it to life again, and if you’re honest with yourself at that time, you could work on it from that point. This holds true for us all. You will be angry at them, at yourself, at the world, and if the loss is a living loss, you may be angry at those the parent now chooses to spend that time with. This is where forgiveness comes in of course.

It’s much like anger, this concept of forgiveness. It may be something you thought to have achieved long ago, only to find out later, maybe there’s just a little more to work on. I’ve had the concept suggested to me often, and having to be honest with myself I have to consider what it is that would inspire someone to suggest that to me? When I know, or thought I had forgiven already. You always have to consider the impression someone tells you that they’ve gotten from you whilst you are unaware of your own projected persona. In the search for truth of self- this is often the truth you can never grasp on your own, and it can be the most valuable insight to who you are- because it’s who you are perceived to be by the world around you. Perception isn’t always truth, because you have to consider the source of course- but to be an open minded person, you must consider all sources.

In that respect, I’ve come to the conclusion that much like maturity itself, maybe forgiveness isn’t something you can ever truly get to, and simply have it, or be there like climbing to the top of a mountain, where you can say there, I got it, I’m done. The processes of forgiveness themselves are so complex, with that in mind the case is made without question- it’s not something that one can simply snap their fingers to, or say the words to, and decide- they’ve forgiven. Not with issues such as these. No… maybe forgiveness, like the pain of loss, and maturity, is a living thing, growing, and changing as we go on through life. Something organic like life itself, that takes work, one day at a time, today, more than the last, and so on… and when it’s built up, maybe forgiveness needs occasional maintenance. Occasional reminders. Like Father’s Day, when it comes around.

Forgiveness as well, is a difficult concept to advise to others in this respect- because unless you’re ready to apply it to every aspect of your own life, as life happens… you can’t expect anyone else to take your example can you? No. More to the point that it’s a difficult, living tenet to work with I think. You have to be able to show it, to prove you know it.

When all other hurdles have been jumped, all obstacles met and surpassed, we have to work on forgiving the circumstances that led us to these times, and actively apply the kindness and love we would have expected of our fathers, to ourselves. We have to acknowledge the fathers we know around us, in family and friends, who are present, and fortunate enough to have that opportunity to be there for their children. As difficult as it may be, we have to try and forgive, if not simply withhold judgment of those we know that for reasons all their own, are not present for their children.

Always remembering to be humble in the fact that we all have lives that are subject to judgment in one form or another- and that we should offer outwardly what we wish to receive back from the universe.

And in the end, for all of us out there who have or hope to have the opportunity to be a father one day, not counting those who’ve suffered the loss… there is always the promise to ourselves that we will do a better job than was done for us by our fathers who are absent.

We will be safer. We will be stronger. We will be present. Supportive. Loving. Caring. And fine examples of what a man should be to our sons and daughters.

Happy Father’s Day.

Everyone.

921

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WordPress, but not WordPress…

February 8, 2011 Leave a comment

Special thanks to the developers at Links Alpha for such a great plug in. Also at Dallas Pro Web Designers for their plug in/ widget. Both made it really easy to move this blog off the Wp servers and keep some of the functionality.

Told ya… I was gonna do it. And it’s done.

I have a couple other blogs to move under my main domain umbrella and I’m done, at least publicly, with WordPress. After initially looking at the glamorous and glitzy Tumblr sites, I was impressed, but I couldn’t find comparable themes and templates. Mind you, they have some nice ones, but the really nice ones are about 20-60% more costly than those you would pay for in Wp format, and even if I did swallow that small pill, I would be losing the familiarity with which I’ve grown into, aesthetically, on my blogs.

Initially I was dismayed at the thought of eating my words and coming back, tail between my legs and continuing my begrudging relationship with the ever-silent racist sympathizer WordPress has become in my eyes, but no. Despite my keep-sh*t-simple life-motto, I knew that I wanted out from under and this was it, this was the time.

I could part with a layout I thought, if the layout is pleasing to the eye, as I feel mine are now- and I loved the fact I could apply the actual domain name without the subdomain (.wordpress.com) suffix to my blogs (something WordPress would reach into your pocket for!) at Tumblr… Then there were some functionality issues… Wp format is just more control-freak friendly, which I am. I needed a bit more control than is offered over there at Tum-Tum, as I’ve come to know affectionately refer to it. So what did I do? I took myself out of my comfort zone and got into the code a bit, installed the WordPress Application into my GoDaddy hosting account, and moved everything over. Some re-formatting glitches after familiarizing myself with the new operating procedures and log-ins, and here we are.

There are some tweaks on each site (two so far) that I have to come back to- but for the most part- the work is done.

I figure once in a while, I may repost an entry in the old (.wordpress.com) blog to attract some hits from the internal mechanism they have, freshly pressed and whatnot- but for the most part- we are free (and you can be too).

And we are under our own flags as well.

When you type in www.theoccasionalopinion.com you are led to the main domain The Occasional Opinion, then redirected to the subdomain under Damian Dezign. Looks the same as this one, so will you know the difference? Sans the stink of a background support staff that says nothing to you when you complain of racial epithets espoused upon you by other users of the free service- nahhhh, no difference at all.

This will be the last post here for a while, so if you don’t hit the link, and rss link or feed or do whatever it is you do to keep up at the new site, you will not receive an update when I comment on the absurdities of our world.

I’ve got some pent up thoughts on Lindsey and Hale, racism, white male model on black baby crimes, as if we need more daddy issues in this country… and more, waiting to come out…

All of which will not be posted here.

See you on the other side folks!

bye bye you mother f%&*($#s =P

Education. Teachers. Parents.

October 3, 2010 Leave a comment

If you want teachers to be held responsible for the education your American children are currently NOT getting…

Then let’s institutionalize schools and have you send your kids away months at a time.

There, problem solved.

So when your kids end up in a mediocre life because of a lack of education, you can clearly blame the educators.

But as long as those seeds of yours that you arrogantly brought into this world come home to you every afternoon and you play the role of “parent”… It’s up to you to show your kids that they have a either;

A shitty system because that’s all you can afford, the public option, and that is a result of you settling for the push your parents didn’t give you- and that shitty system isn’t going to get better unless larger forces begin moving, so it’s up to you and them to make the most of it with hard work and focus…

Or they have a better system at their fingertips than others because you did bust your ass to be able to afford that for them, and they still have to bust their ass and focus to make the most of that system.

So you see the constant is you, the parent. Not the teacher.

The home base. Not the school.

Guidance. What every new life needs to acclimate to this crazy system, this crazy world.

Without that you breed an unprepared, and likely unsuccessful human being.

Either that or move to Japan where there is already a culture in place, where a teacher making around 60k a year, still too little in my opinion, just naturally, as a work ethic, as a personal responsibility, take ont he role of parent when it comes to the success of the children under their charge, not only in the sense of education, but in a moral sense as well.

And I’ll be honest, I don”t put it out there as some ludicrous option, because frankly, unless I want my kids (the one’s I haven’t been arrogant enough to have yet) to be better human beings than I (which isn’t saying much- I mean, I have fun but I’m no humanitarian- how could you be an ‘-arian” of any kind when you don’t really hold the root part of the word, ‘human‘, in high regard to begin with), then I owuld probably do this myself, not only for the fact that hey, Japan is fucking cool, especially for an artist mentality like my own, but really, they can probably cultivate a better human being than I can when it comes to raising one and setting them out into the world.

All I can do is create an act of vengeance on mankind for it’s ridiculous holier than thou concept of itself on this planet.

So, would I want to do this to the world, or the child, knowing the world I’m bringing them into, should they acclimate to my view of it- stands against them, for a lifetime?

Or would I want to do it to myself if despite my self proclaimed realistic outlook of the world and society somehow doesn’t stick, and they grow up to somehow get more out of it in respect to being “happy”, than I have?

Thats right. I said it. And I would love to see the honest answer to that question if posed to parents…

“If you knew your child would grow up to contradict your beliefs, and in essence contradict you- and live a life more fulfilling as a result “in-yo-face!”… would you make the choice have them?

But that’s a bigger and much more fun question than education.

Isn’t it?

That’s my Occasional Opinion.

Well Thank You Dumb Ass

September 8, 2010 2 comments

Months I’ve been waiting for the day to come where the controversy over the Mosque being built near the site of the former World Trade Center dies down (I’m not referring to it as Ground Zero- this isn’t a movie, this is real life and that sounds overly dramatic and downright stupid). But of course, when the day comes it’s not because people actually took a breath of sufficiently oxygenated air (no, I didn’t REALLY expect the general public to all of a sudden become mature and intelligent or respectful of others, turn the other cheek, live and let live or love each other as Jesus told them to, overnight or even over a millenia) and exhaled their demons like the release of smoke from the last cigarette you’ll ever have- promising you a better, healthier life, no… It’s because – some idiot is doing something just as ignorant and stupid as all those calling New York objecting to the Mosque to begin with.

This Jerk…

In his blissful ignorance, thinks that burning a bunch of Quran’s on September 11th is somehow a right thing, or a good thing to do.

Well sir, you are a Dick.

Officially, and on a grande scale- you are very much so, confirmed – a DICK.

Military officials have come forward saying that the action this fool is taking will endanger the lives of military personnel over seas. Still this fool does not retract his intent.

Why would he? This is his 15 minutes of fame. He’s not giving that up for anything or anyone. For many an ignoramus around the country, religious freaks, right-wing hate mongers, hell, even neo-nazis I’m sure- he has become a hero. he likes being a hero. he likes the spotlight. What religious leader doesn’t like the spotlight? I mean, let me rephrase that… What religious leader who passes around a collection plate- doesn’t like the spotlight?

Now, the military thing is a good point. But let’s look at a couple other things that I think the media, in its infinite wisdom to capitalize on riling up the Stupids of the nation- have missed- further proving that theyre not qualified to run news broadcasts…

1. It didn’t take this guy lighting a match to a book for him to boost recruitment for all fanatical muslim factions around the world- all it took was him announcing it. If they are already burning his image, along with our flag, half way around the world- I guarantee you that there are some poorly educated, hungry, very young men watching all of this and since they are young, hungry and poorly educated, they will be easy marks for the terrorists to recruit. A little food, a reason, a little anger, (both thanks to Mr. Dick up there), and now you have a jihadist that will be molded into a tool of destruction taking down both those of his or her own faith as well as those he is bent against.

So Thank You Mr. Idiot, for helping the radicals who want to harm us, to get more people on their side. YOU helped the terrorists- you mother f*cking dick.

2. If what this guy is proposing is putting U.S. lives in danger abroad- shouldnt it be considered an act of terrorism itself? Shouldnt it be considered a threat against national security? What if because of this people are not only killed but also kidnapped? Tortured? Held for ransom? I’m sure there is a lawyer out there somewhere who can make this case in this day and age (post Bush/Guantanamo Bay), and can set the standard by making an example of this fool. A nice hard time sentence of I dunno… let’s say 5+ years? That should let anyone who thinks of burning a book considered by any faith to be holy, in a public forum, that they’re gonna be screaming the name of their own god when the lights go out in their cell every night for 5+ years if they actually do it.

3. In a sort fo 1&2 combo- why isnt the government stepping in to seize this opportunity for peace? What I’m saying is, this is an opportunity for the United States Government to step in and prosecute this dick- and show the world that religious intolerance of any kind- is what will not be tolerated.

Akin to the point I’ve made about the Bush administration’s vengeful reaction to the acts of terrorism on 9.11.2001, where I asked what if we had turned the other cheek, sought out those responsible without invading anyone’s country or going to war on a large-scale (but of course I know-I know, the B.A. had other intentions and seized the moment- If* they didn’t manufacture the opportunity they needed all together)… But if we had turned the other cheek so to speak- the reaction of the world would have been the opposite of that which was recorded by history- anti-American sentiments all over the globe.

Put it this way… I’m a big guy, above average, and I can be pretty intimidating, never intentionally, my curse. Now, if someone came up to me and assaulted me out of no where on the street, and I took the hit, bloody lip, whatever- standers by would of course be shocked- omg all over the place, maybe someone would come up to me and grab my arm to help me up off one knee- right?

What if when I took the hit, I got up and pulled out a gun and shot the guy who punched me in the face- BAM!

Dead.

Now who’s the bad guy?

In the first instance, I have public sympathy, even help.

In the second- I have alienated everyone around me, scared the bejesus out of them, and now I am the public enemy. A killer, when for a split second I was the victim.

What I’m saying is, as I’ve said before- if 9.11 wasn’t about needing a reason to invade countries, then why didn’t we simply stay the victim and garner the worlds sympathy, and help?

This country could have done something so much stronger in respect to eliminating terrorism- and likely uniting the world against all radicalism had we just turned the other cheek. We could have more effectively sought out our enemies in a clandestine manner- as has been done so many other times. Instead, the immense posturing move of going to war only made the problem worse, enriched the terrorists cause and boosted their recruitment as well as swelled their number.

In this case why doesn’t the government step in and say No. No, the United States stands for freedom, but not the freedom to proliferate hate.

If they would do this- not only the muslim world would have more confidence in this institution, but maybe even 1 out of every 4 radicals will say to themselves “hold on before I put on that bomb vest there Mohammed, I know you worked real hard on it and all that, but if the U.S. is such an infidel and stuff… how is it they came down so hard on that guy who wanted to burn our holy book?” and when the radical then excuses himself to go to the restroom, he just doesn’t come back.

Instead he either goes back to his family, gets married, has kids and teaches them to be peaceful and loving by telling them this story, or he leaves and goes to the nearest U.S. Embassy and trades what he knows about his terrorist cell for citizenship.

A win-win scenario if you ask me- but one that is not possible if the government stands by and does nothing. One in four… I’m guesstimating, but I think it’s off the top accurate. If it is, that’s a worldwide 25% drop in their ranks. Sh*t just got easier.

For those who think it would be an infringement on freedoms of religion or speech- you are wrong. Because we were all taught that we have those freedoms- but it never gives us a right to go in a crowded theatre and yell FIRE! Remember?

What the Dick is doing by burning another culture’s holy book is just that- proliferating hate and causing a danger to the general public and/ or military personnel. This action, and even the threat of it is inciting anti-American sentiment and should be handled swiftly by law enforcement.

And that’s my Occasional Opinion.

Thanks Dick, for drawing attention away from the New York Cultural Center, but no thanks for being an all American asshole.

Burn yourself in effigy, makes a better statement and does us all a favor at the same time.

Comment on; Where do you put a Mosque?

August 17, 2010 1 comment

Link to original blog

Answer: You put a Mosque, and for that matter a Church, a Synagogue, a Temple, a friggin Tree people want to pray to on Arbor Day… Anywhere the laws of the land will allow. This is the United States of America and Freedom, as much as humanly possible, is what we stand for.

I’ll continue this rant on my own blog…

I happen to work for The City of New York in a capacity that affords me the unfortunate privilege to have the opinions of New Yorkers and now with this Mosque debate- any jerk off who has an opinion outside of our city- thrown at me. I have to hear all of it. In the last months, there has been a grand total of three… that’s THREE supportive opinions I have heard regarding this matter- the rest are from people who for all my ability to try and extend my understanding- simply put- need something to hate.

I have had enough time to think of all this. I have heard enough. I have spoken to parents of soldiers both alive and dead. I have spoken to parents and friends of those who died and those who worked at the 9-11 site. For them I feel remorse, of course, but no amount of loss is an excuse for uninformed irrationality- to put it nicely.

I have spoken to the crack pots who dont have anything else better to do but stick their noses in anything the media tells them they should care about. I have spoken to all of these people from all around the country.

Few of them can contain their rage to express themselves in a rational way. Most want to yell at whomever they get on the phone. One bordered on threatening terrorism himself. Most, have southern accents. Most, make the ignorant assumption that the Mayor of New York has the power of a King and that by his decree he has “allowed” this to occur. Those in particular I regard as Idiots.

But again, most just want to hate. The same emotion that fueled those who supposedly flew planes into the towers that morning.

I work here in the area. I was going to school at the foot of the WTC. I was, if not for my genuine disdain for Math Class, supposed to be there that morning. I worked at a school shortly there after- again, at the foot of the WTC, where an entire dorm room floor wall was covered with the names of those students and family of students and faculty that were lost that day.

I come to work every day- tolerant of the tourists holding their maps, looking for “the hole”.

It’s a tourist attraction to people. This, is nauseating to me. There isnt a god damned day I dont feel a sadness inside for what happened here. I see it- every- fucking- day.

So when I hear everybody and their mother think they have a qualified opinion on what goes on here in New York in relevance to the World Trade Center- you can imagine what I feel.

Yet, I tolerate you.

You, who would be no better than Jim Crowe or Hitler and take people’s rights away simply because you have the need… the NEED to hate.

I have to leave this job. I have seen too much of what the general public is like, and honestly, it’s killed my faith in mankind, and even American Ideals.

This country is filled with corruption and bigotry. People, who even if we do have the worst ecducational system in the world, should know better, should recognize that NONE OF US COME FROM THIS LAND! They don’t have the basic kindness and common sense to ever allow me to think this world will be a better place.

Honestly, I’m ok with not having kids now that I’ve worked here, and heard all of you people and your “opinions”.

No one, not one organization in the world, has stepped up to say, when they do build the Mosque, we will come to help. We will lay brick and mortar with you in the name of Peace and for the end of violence and aggression between the faiths of this world.

That, is truly sad.

I’m reading America’s Hidden History by Kenneth C. Davis right now, and in the first few pages alone, I’ve learned the fact that most of history’s conflict, has alwys been about religion. World wide.

I am of no faith, but support any theology that gives people comfort- and no theology that looks to convert or to keep people from their own choice.

I thought once the Bush administration left office, I could be proud to be an American again… but I see that isn’t going to happen. There are just too many hateful bigoted stupid ignorant people in this country and I can’t defend you anymore.

Thanks, all of you.

Thanks for ruining what could have been a wonderful country.

And in a way, maybe thats how we should deal with you. Let you have the country and let you run it into the ground with your hate. When you get yourselves destroyed, we, the peaceful intelligent and tolerant people can come back and be better off.

Change is good they say?

Well let’s see how this change in theme works out. I liked Hemmingway. It was dark and serious like me. But this one caught my eye today. Lets see what happens.

I once wrote…

truisms.
aka life-isms.
by daniel damian mendez

in life…

~ religion is the sloven externalization of responsibility committed to by the knowledgeable, and the refuge of ignorance and insecurity for those incapable of higher thought.
god bless.

~ there is only meaning- between the birth of selfishness and the finalization of fulfillment.

~ “good” is only the illusion existing between ignorance, and denial.

~ society- by design, is malignant in the name of capitalism and the proliferation of greed.

boy, i certaianly had a groove there didn’t i?

Categories: Anarchy, communication, Love, People