Archive

Archive for the ‘Facebook’ Category

WordPress, but not WordPress…

February 8, 2011 Leave a comment

Special thanks to the developers at Links Alpha for such a great plug in. Also at Dallas Pro Web Designers for their plug in/ widget. Both made it really easy to move this blog off the Wp servers and keep some of the functionality.

Told ya… I was gonna do it. And it’s done.

I have a couple other blogs to move under my main domain umbrella and I’m done, at least publicly, with WordPress. After initially looking at the glamorous and glitzy Tumblr sites, I was impressed, but I couldn’t find comparable themes and templates. Mind you, they have some nice ones, but the really nice ones are about 20-60% more costly than those you would pay for in Wp format, and even if I did swallow that small pill, I would be losing the familiarity with which I’ve grown into, aesthetically, on my blogs.

Initially I was dismayed at the thought of eating my words and coming back, tail between my legs and continuing my begrudging relationship with the ever-silent racist sympathizer WordPress has become in my eyes, but no. Despite my keep-sh*t-simple life-motto, I knew that I wanted out from under and this was it, this was the time.

I could part with a layout I thought, if the layout is pleasing to the eye, as I feel mine are now- and I loved the fact I could apply the actual domain name without the subdomain (.wordpress.com) suffix to my blogs (something WordPress would reach into your pocket for!) at Tumblr… Then there were some functionality issues… Wp format is just more control-freak friendly, which I am. I needed a bit more control than is offered over there at Tum-Tum, as I’ve come to know affectionately refer to it. So what did I do? I took myself out of my comfort zone and got into the code a bit, installed the WordPress Application into my GoDaddy hosting account, and moved everything over. Some re-formatting glitches after familiarizing myself with the new operating procedures and log-ins, and here we are.

There are some tweaks on each site (two so far) that I have to come back to- but for the most part- the work is done.

I figure once in a while, I may repost an entry in the old (.wordpress.com) blog to attract some hits from the internal mechanism they have, freshly pressed and whatnot- but for the most part- we are free (and you can be too).

And we are under our own flags as well.

When you type in www.theoccasionalopinion.com you are led to the main domain The Occasional Opinion, then redirected to the subdomain under Damian Dezign. Looks the same as this one, so will you know the difference? Sans the stink of a background support staff that says nothing to you when you complain of racial epithets espoused upon you by other users of the free service- nahhhh, no difference at all.

This will be the last post here for a while, so if you don’t hit the link, and rss link or feed or do whatever it is you do to keep up at the new site, you will not receive an update when I comment on the absurdities of our world.

I’ve got some pent up thoughts on Lindsey and Hale, racism, white male model on black baby crimes, as if we need more daddy issues in this country… and more, waiting to come out…

All of which will not be posted here.

See you on the other side folks!

bye bye you mother f%&*($#s =P

It snowed in New York?

December 29, 2010 Leave a comment

The city dropped the ball- people in Brooklyn in particular and Staten Island (Staten Island shouldn’t complain- after Jersey Shore they should be glad we didn’t use the island as a snow dump) are in distress.

As you may or may not know I have access to some information about the city’s mood because of my job, and well, those boroughs are well, not happy. Can’t blame them, for whatever reason the response was much less effective than previous times. Of course I suck because I always evaluate all angles, I don’t go across the board and say one thing is right or wrong- and so being big on personal responsibility I do consider the fact that it’s just freaking snow, it can be shoveled, and it does melt- but then you have to be sympathetic to the elderly who depend not only on city services to control the effects of inclement weather- but also the highly ineffective and opportunistic MTA who makes money off of New Yorkers providing transportation as a private company, but seemingly invests absolutely no money of their ever inadequate budget on actual contingency- like having a snow plow or even a budget to hire private contractors if needed- to clear their own routes- god forbid. No, they put the onus on the city, along with charging city employees nearly the entire amount of their fare fees (millions of dollars in revenue). but before I go off on a rant- you have to be sympathetic to the elderly and the infirmed. Their main concern is getting to their health care appointments that sometimes are life dependent, and of course- emergency services being able to reach them. They are in effect, trapped in their homes. In a catastrophe, these are members of the population that are inevitable losses. People who get left behind. They cannot travel, much less, can they run for their lives. Now, this shouldn’t have been a catastrophic event, and this is everyone’s point, because for many people, the conditions were nearly as such.

The Mayor has owned up to the fact that the response was less than effective, and here is where the Mayor, which I support, personally lacks a bit of what New York needs right now.

People want blood. He speaks about accountability, and his business sense though admirable and fiscally effective- is not the Human Resources Politically Correct kind of language people want and need to hear right now. They need to hear “Heads are going to roll”. They need, and want to hear, that the man in charge shares their outrage and that the suffering of the people, is as the suffering of his own children, and that people who are in charge of certain things, will soon feel his wrath on the people’s behalf.

I know, it sounds arcane, but what can I tell you, its the pulse of the people, and although the minority of new Yorkers make the majority of the money and buy the New York Times, most people read the Post and the Daily News, which is dumbed down to a 3rd grade reading level. Needless to say most of them, won’t be reading this blog.

You cannot be a leader of the people, and expect the people to behave as you expect them or want them to- and if you ignore how they behave and pretend it does not exist- you lose public confidence (the equivalent of being overthrown in ancient times). As a leader of the people you have to do what you think is best, but you must speak the language of the people. I’m not running for Prime Minister in Japan without gettin’ my karaoke on.

Anyway…

It’s gray slush time here in New York.

Predictions;

If the weather improves, the snow will melt, if it melts too fast, though no one is saying anything right now, the sewers will overflow- the infrastructure, as the operation structure obviously, is lacking. There will be flooding. Transit will be delayed and cancelled. Elderly and infirmed will be stuck again. The media will swarm, as usual, helping nothing, and creating a public uproar that does no more than waste effort and time.

I… will say, I told you so.

Happy New Year everyone.

~ on a side note, expectations are being surpassed on Graffitti Park’s Facebook Page. Visit and add your support. It’s an idea that would benefit urban youth, the world of Art, urban communities and commerce.

http://www.graffittipark.wordpress.com or the link to the Facebook Page provided.

Thank You!

Following up…

November 15, 2010 Leave a comment

The list is as follows…

~ Racism, yes, still. Entitlement, and the phenomenon of disassociation.

~ Blogging, on my production sheet?

~ Relationships, the unfamiliarity of this word and the actual value of.

~ And relatives, the holidays, and the stress that comes with. Believe me, as with most things “me”, you haven’t heard this take on the subject yet.

Last entry, the first issue wore me out. I’ll try and keep the update brief. 

So I am still waiting to hear back from Facebook and Word Press on their reaction/ response to the open use of hate speech (what I’ve come to term it) on their sites. In research for some images to put up with this entry I found it interesting that there was a Cafe Press shop dedicated to the very word in question! Openly offering bumper stickers and other items not only with the word “beaner”, but mocking the ethnicities associated to that word with “I love…” and other phrases including a reference to the I.N.S.

Now, it occurs to me, as it obviously would by the lack of response and commentary to this matter from both the organizations in question and the public (a total of one person weighed in seriously), that the value of a racial epithet, or rather the value of it’s offensiveness is dependant only on the ethnicity’s willingness to stand up against it.

I made the point in my e mail to Cafe Press, that if I were to go open a shop with them emblazoning the N word, swastikas, and antisemitic rhetoric, ethnic mocking and other “more popularly accepted” forms of hate speech, I would hope they notice and stop me.

For this word though, it seems no one cares? Not the people at WordPress, not Facebook, and I have to be fair and give Cafe Press the chance to weigh in, but it may be they don’t care either.

It seems too many people consider this a point of humor to even realize it’s racist. Part of the reason I despise the comedian Carlos Mencia, a non-Mexican by the way, for playing a large part in popularizing the term and blatantly focusing it against fellow Hispanics of another nationality than his own. But if Mexican-Americans don’t stand up against it- I suppose I can likely accomplish only so much.

My observation is derived of course from seeing how the N word has been handled by the African American community. They took a stand and made the world recognize that it’s wrong. In my last entry I wrote a bit about Disassociation, and that word, that condition, is what the AA community relieved the general public of for the most part, by bringing attention to it in the way they did. Personally, I believe there is the correct use of all language, and however offensive, certain words unfortunately have their place and time. But I did learn that language is always like a gun in this respect. You can have one in the house and sure, keep it loaded if you wish, but be sure that when you take it out, think twice before you use it, because not only will you be hurting someone else, but you may very well hurt yourself in the process as well.

I mean, whats it going to take? A hate crime? Do some ignorant people somewhere need to hurt someone or god forbid kill them while using that anti-Mexian, anti-Hispanic term? Wouldn’t it be typical of American society that it needs the media to get involved before it really shows it can care about a cause?

It’s disgusting how ignorance in America targets Muslims now because of the actions of some fanatics nearly 11 years ago. You have some fanaticism in respect to southern border patrol issues and immigration, you have a quiet hypocrisy about how the northern border is handled (the joke is on the hypocrites though because enough Hispanics use that to their advantage and immigrate as they please through the northern border), but you don’t see these things associated to each other when it comes to issues of race. A teacher reads Shakespearean literature and is ostracized immediately for the lack of understanding to context, but people run around using a word that to me is as racist as the word “Spick”, and no one says anything about it. A Village Voice column humorously named “Ask a Mexican” where I’ve seen the word used comes to mind. Although I can’t say that other than it being a funny and informative column, that they used it in a racist manner- just that I do remember it in there, to be fair. But it all comes down to people standing up and saying something… which they’re not.

So these self admitted “drunk bitches” (thats right they call themselves that), who randomly picked a blog fight with me over a one line response to one of their entries (all documented well enough on their site- which by the way, hilariously makes them seem like lunatics, but they don’t see it) can go around calling Spanish people “beaners” and no one, not the website they have their blog on, or their misguided short list of fans… or anyone who reads (save one person) my words, bother to say one word in criticism of that inappropriate behavior. It’s unbelievable.

Alright- said I’d keep it brief, so thats it for that update… more to come. I plan on writing The Voice and The New York Times as well. The L. A. Times might be interested.

Next on that list is Blogging… on my Production Sheet?

I keep a production sheet of all the up in the air projects I have going on. I have an idea that becomes more than just that before it vaporizes into the id, I create a row and track progress. If I don’t, nothing will ever get done and I’ll remember about a great undeveloped idea a year later when I’m copying over a hard drive and I find the folder under an inch of digital dust.

Putting blogging on the production sheet will legitimize it… so should I? If I do, it means I take this shit seriously, and really, a lot of time I don’t. But I do spend time on writing, and it is constructive, developmental and fulfilling…

Also, if I add that line, it’s another line of empty cells I haven’t worked on in however long since I last did…

I’m pretty good at coming back to it though, even on weekends, so I guess it can’t hurt.

Done.

Thanks for listening.

Next…

Relationships, the unfamiliarity of this word and the actual value of…

It occurs to me this isn’t my personal blog, it’s the O.O., so I have to write this with a particular and distinct literary skew meant for public consumption and not the t’hell with it voice I use on for personal stuff ova’tharr. But if you need reference to comments and you can’t find my blog, which is good, you can refer to The New Good instead.

Recently I heard the word “relationship” and felt such an unfamiliarity with the concept it made me realize how far I’d come in the last year (ref. to personal blog you can’t find). It caused me to examine (of course) the whole concept of relationships from a new perspective. The usual perspective, one where I actually cared for them to work, I am now thankfully relieved of.

Now, I’m sure that somewhere out there, there are the relationships that work. Excluding those using crutches like religion or otherwise cult-like behavior that makes drinking the kool-aid seem like sexy and romantic together stuff. I’m not saying it’s impossible otherwise, but as far as I see it now, after half a life of experience and half of that if not more, searching for love enough to see a pattern in the type of women I personally attract- I am saying that for the majority of people a great relationship is as rare as that jackpot lottery win- maybe even more rare.

There are mechanisms in people that in most, are broken. There is a trait, I do not know what to call it, one of calm and patience, that lends itself to the success of a relationship. In fact, it lends itself to being able to get along with people in general. But even this, in my observance can be defective in some, because it can also lapse into passivity and over compliance. Save this well balanced trait having wise person finding someone equally wise and patient, the best the rest of us can hope to do in my opinion, is master, and become accepting of, our own personal situations.

Not everyone will find or accomplish what they want in life.

Some people will die alone.

That’s just the way it is, and it’s real, and it’s true. And it may be you.

Me? I’m OK. Finally. The strange thing is, that it’s on the complete other side of the spectrum than I thought it would be. I may die alone, and that’s OK. I’ve accepted that considering the kind of women that come my way, I’d rather.

I’m not trying to be funny, though it may make you laugh. It does me. But I’m serious. I’m not enamored with the thought of lovey dovey cuddling anymore, I’m not thinking about “what if I don’t have kids”. I’m happy, focusing my efforts toward accomplishing personal goals. In fact, I have taken such a step back that I can see the issues people (and by “people” I mean women, since I don’t really care about men as any kind of romantic interest, former or otherwise) have, clearer than ever. I no longer tell myself “nah, that can’t be right” and make the ridiculously repetitive error of allowing yet another one in to disappoint me, I simply see it for what it is, and I set the boundary.

Is it bitterness? A self check one does when an evaluation falls a bit on the negative side- results come up clean.

Any bitterness I feel is concentrated most on the individual, then diluted on the culture, but when it comes to the gender, my observations are for all across the board, and that focused bitterness for the specific person falls wayside as irrelevant.

I don’t see the necessity of romantic relationships anymore.

We all know (or should know) the science of it. Love is a biochemical delusion. Yes there are instinctual drives at play, to procreate, to mate etc. But practically the word “relationship” doesn’t apply to those animal drives. “Relationship”, to “get along” with your significant other… to build a life together… only the truly fortunate find significant others with the ability to do what needs to be done in order to be “a couple”, a “team” or partners or parents successfully. And even those “successful” relationships sometimes seem to have a temporary expiration date- which with my new eyes so to speak, I really do understand. It makes so much more sense than the concept of “forever” most women want you to sign on for.

I mean think about it- “FOREVER”… resisting the urge to use echo and reverb and run on the R sound…

Forever, as a concept for a temporary life. That’s kind of stupid actually. Even IF, in a world of a million-million different options, you found “the one”… Which if you are truly aware of your flaws and accept the limitations within yourself necessary to claim knowledge that this person you found IS truly the bes tthat you can do… I can understand- but under those circumstances, we all know how unlikelythat is don’t we?

If a person does, as they do at the alter all the time, soon after they end up thinking of course, that they can do better. Why? Well simply because to admit you can’t do any better is to put yourself down. And you may be struck, and taken by the loveliness of this person you found and languishing in the glow of seemingly having conquered that ass, basking in your champion glory… but it won’t last. It fades. You’re human and soon enough you’ll see another challenge you need to conquer and that’s when the trouble (only trouble because you bought into the system and its rules) begins.

Can you meet someone who will make you say you don’t want anyone else? Sure, I’ll say it’s very possible. But you better hope they feel the same way or everything I just said in reference to you- I mean for them.

Do we “need” a relationship? To live? To survive? No. You can get along just fine without a long term relationship. Would it be nice to have a partner, someone whose got your back to use street terms? Sure, of course. But do you need that? No. What you get from a significant other you can get anywhere else. Friendships, sex, partnership, loyalty, children- all attainable, and fullfillingly, from other sources than a “relationship”.

So on a personal level, I don’t have to deal with women’s bullshit. And this is what lately makes me the happiest. I used to go back on my own words and intentions, and allow myself to get dragged back in to the bullshit. In the name of open mindedness of course. Does this mean I’m closed minded now? Maybe a little more closed minded, but what I definitely can say I know is, is that I don’t have to put the shit to my nose to know it stinks so to speak. I don’t have to allow people to screw me up to know that’s not the way to go. Since I stopped, and simply said “no more”… I’ve been the happiest I can be and more so, as I said earlier, I’ve been able to distinguish B.S. from reality better than ever.

I’ve met women, and as predictable as sunrise, the hooks come out. They begin to try and suck you in with nonsense to be able to feed their own need of validation. I see this now and understand the saying “she’s a man eater”. Because when you can see things from this vantage point, you can see how women do what they do so that they can purely consume a subject and attain for themselves what they need- and show no regard or remorse for the consequences to the person they are effecting with their actions.

One woman I was seeing up to a month ago couldn’t go on a date without suggesting I move out to her side of town.

What IS that?

Can’t just have a good time?

But this is a micro-example. I get more out of hearing my peers stories, and observing those who don’t like to share, than I do from my own cautious experience. Both are invaluable of course, but the majority of observation comes from outside, not in.

I meet women now, and drive the problematic ones away with frustration. frustration because they can’t get me to play their game. They retreat, realizing they are up against someone who is going to get from them what he wants, with no promise of recompense, same as they would do to me if I let them.

And that, is only when I feel like even bothering.

I never understood men who paid for sex. But now… I see the wisdom. It’s just so much less complicated and liberating. And though I have yet to do so myself, I can see myself buying myself the best in those terms when I’ve accomplished what I need to for myself in life.

Or, who knows, I might win the lottery?

Naaaaaaaaaaah.

Relatives and Holidays tomorrow, I’m tired of writing.

Out.

Things on my mind… today

November 12, 2010 Leave a comment

~ Racism, yes, still. Entitlement, and the phenomenon of disassociation.

~ Blogging, on my production sheet?

~ Relationships, the unfamiliarity of this word and the actual value of.

~ And relatives, the holidays, and the stress that comes with. Believe me, as with most things “me”, you haven’t heard this take on the subject yet.

I may have to break these thoughts up over the next few days- but lets see how it goes…

1. Let’s get racism out of the way.

I like to say I’m racist. A play on words really. I say that I’m racist, because I recognize the races. In order ot have diversity one has to recognize the differences first, in order to learn to respect them and if possible, appreciate them. That is the act of being race-ist. Here is the Dictionary.com definition of the suffix “ist”.

a suffix of nouns, often corresponding to verbs ending in -ize  ornouns ending in -ism,  that denote a person who practices or isconcerned with something, or holds certain principles, doctrines,etc.: apologist; dramatist; machinist; novelist; realist; socialist;Thomist.

I rest my case on that one. When you define “ism” you get mention of words like “prejudice” and “discrimination, but only in third place mention after logical attributions such as a practice or process, such as a criticism, or plagiarism. In my experience the third definition and beyond are most times in deference to the cultural MIS-use, rather than actual definition, provided more for the understanding of language as spoken than to define actual words and guide their correct use.

Here is a link to many, many words that use the suffix “ism” and of which one could only still say it is relative to the root word- which for my purpose here is Race.

The reason I’m laying this groundwork is to distinguish of course, between the productive use of racism, and prejudice itself, or bigotry. You would want me to be racist, if you are of another culture than my own (which by the way, is likely not the one you would assume if you were a bigot), the same as you would want me to be sexist, and class-ist under other circumstances such as being a woman and needing help, hands full, with an open door for example, where it would be good of me to go into gentleman mode wouldn’t it? That’s relative to sexism, like it or not. Or if a member of the working poor, and I am the customer service rep at your local financial aid office- where as if I am class-ist, you can rest assured I understand the importance with which I need to handle your concerns since it is directly related to you improving your lifestyle, and life overall. If I were ignorant to the difference in classes, I would likely be flippant about the needs of those who struggle and sacrifice to raise themselves out of one class into a better one.

I’m no bigot though. And as with most other things I am or I am not, I don’t require a pat ont he back for them or look for one. I only am or am not those things because to me, they are either productive or a waste of time.

Bigotry lends itself to stupidity, and keeps you from opportunities, so therefore it is unproductive and I don’t adhere to it.

The opportunities are of course, getting to know people, ideas, customs, and a plethora of things that could enrich one, improve one, and further expand one’s experience in life- that one would otherwise be cut off from if making a pre-judgment of people, before getting to know them or allowing then to express themselves freely.

Racism, on the other hand, helps.

It helps to know how to say “shukran” to the halal guy I get my lunch from for example, because it’s polite for one, and it endears the man preparing my food which is invaluable if you live in a big city like this. Clean food- important. If I like my halal, which I do, I want him to know his job is appreciated and a happy halal guy makes a better, consistent meal than an unhappy one.

I could fill the blog with examples of constructive, attentive, productive racism, but I think I made my point in that small example so lets move on.

Now, the reason I’m writing about this at all of course has to do with the racial epithet thrown at me by one of, or both bloggers at the site mentioned in yesterday’s post.

This is where we get into Disassociation and Entitlement.

This is attached to my observations on the human condition. without getting too technical, in short, as humans, one of our many flaws is simply that we are forgetful. Those of us who Do know what bigotry is from the inside of it, we forget. In a way it’s a self defense mechanism, of course. Like we implement in mourning, we have internal mechanisms that purposely protect us from the bad feelings that would otherwise hurt us in the long run. So when we, who have had bigotry imposed on us, go on living for a time without any reminder of those experiences and no new experiences to list, we simply forget what it’s like.

I can tell you… from experience, it’s not nice.

It’s not a good feeling when someone shows you that ugliness from within themselves, and as someone who has struggled in life for more reasons than I am going to get into here, when someone randomly throws aside all relevant criteria and looks to disparage you with a reference to the race you appear to be, or your name may indicate a relation to- it strikes a shot fear through you like nothing else- not because (and this is most important) you necessarily fear THEM… but more so because the randomness with which they allowed that ugliness to rise to the surface is one so surprising, that it must occur to you as someone now discriminated against, that it’s an ugliness others are hiding within themselves as well.

And yes, sure, you could puff out your chest and feign ignorance tough guy- but let’s be honest here- if one day you woke up and realized that who you are is someone that people detested and loathed simply because of your appearance or who you are- wouldnt you be striken with fear as to what discrimination you’ll be facing as a result?

When you look for a place to live…

When you look for a job…

When you want to be treated fairly, with the same opportunity the next person would have…

You have to remember how that time you were in an exchange with those people, and for all intents and purposes it should have been a back and forth exchange of thoughts and ideas, however heated the exchange- all of a sudden they came out with the intent of reducing you to less than they, by referring to your race in a derogatory way.

And who else is out there with that in them that I may not even know feels this way?

You see… You want to say people are equal. You want to believe everyone IS equal… But someone who seeks to reduce your humanity by racial epithet- that person is not equal to me. As much as they want to put me down, I would hope the public, those observing, don’t do the easy thing and turn away- but rather- take note of it, see it for what it is, an acknowledge that it is that person who is lessened, and reduced to a lower level, than the person they called that racially referential name.

Then, in reference to the actual incident, the disgust permeates deeper when you have to witness their ignorance, and Disassociation, in the subsequent frenzy to excuse their behavior in this way and that- back and forth they go perusing your writing to try and find some way to blame YOU for the racist remark THEY made about you, doing anything and everything except admit how wrong they are- god forbid they realize about themselves, that they are EXACTLY the disgusting animals they have likely admonished others for being when they’ve witnessed racism.

No, it would be way too much to do to look at their own lives, look at their own habits, the company they keep, the unchecked arrogance of themselves and realize… “I’m a scumbag racist like others I have detested”. I imagine Michael Richards.

But more importantly is that Disassociation I keep referring to.

See, I was born to Latin parents. Mother from South American and father from an American Caribbean Island. I was born here, and raised here, a latchkey kid- so for anyone who doesn’t know what that means- I was raised by the TV. American culture, 100%.

If you get to know me on paper, without reference to my full name or appearance*, meaning the things I like, the things I do, who I am, the music I listen to etc. Then you might guess I am of a different ethnic background. You definitely wouldn’t guess I’m of Latin descent.

Point is, that people like me, of which there are many, know what it’s like to be accepted to some extent, since when I am not overly exposed to the sun I can be mistaken for anglo- but when I am exposed to the sun, especially near the equator, I see how I am looked at, and how I am treated differently because of my darker skin color.

I have friends who have a parent of Euro-descent, and therefore “pass” for white, to use colloquialisms. And they, by no fault of their own you understand, have no idea what prejudice feels like.

This, might be the case with those persons who so casually referred to me in a bigoted way.

I would be making my own assumptions about their race if I said any more than that so I won’t go there.  I could infer from their writing, but I would be stereotyping and generalizing and in the face of being wrong, I pass on that. I would rather be politically correct, than wrong, its got nothing to do with a respect for them, since I lost all respect for them as human beings when I read their bigoted reference to me.

I simply don’t know their race, and if I did I’d like to think that if I did think anything racially referential to them, I’d be smart enough, if not respectful enough of myself at least- not to actually mention it, and keep it professional.

I mean, I do know their gender, and I could go off on that level- and don’t. So I think my self assessment is on point.

So… in the end I don’t knwo whether to be grateful for the experience, or what?

It sucks to know that people, young people at that, who one would assume are educated, can’t be above primitive racial prejudices and can behave so casually at their own slip up. As if, it’s ok, or justified somehow? It’s scary as I said, because where there is one, there are likely more. And who knows how those prejudices will try and hurt you, or keep you down?

As a friend of mine posted subsequent to my hesitant blast about it- “Ignorance can spread like wildfire! Facebook has a group called “(website name omitted)” PLEASE don’t waste your time looking them up, you would be giving them attention  they do not merit, unless you are interested in giving suppressed bigots, any type of support or notoriety.”  And she’s right. She’s the mother of two beautiful kids and I can’t imagine how it feels for a mother to read something like that from fellow women? I don’t have any kids but if I did I would be so concerned for their future knowing people can harbor such casual prejudice in themselves.

In reference to this last point, what I’m saying is, is that once something like this happens, it has a palpable effect that does nothing more than spread the hate.

I’m riding in to work this morning and looking around at the beautiful women I would usually be admiring, doing the usual internal questioning I do, where I wonder if there actually is a woman out there to change my point of view of relationships, but today it’s with a sense of disgust that behind my shades could probably still be seen. And though as I said I really don’t know the make up of these people who used that word at me, but I can’t help but go with the assumption I can make in my mind. So I think to myself, these people, who on their blog, however “humorously” they claim to focus their writing, gripe about how they are treated by men, and their luck with men, have caused a ripple effect with one man, who has male and female friends of all races, that who knows? Could possibly ripple all the way back to them somehow, and further sour the experiences they seem already too comfortable complaining about.

Back when I was Mr. Relationship I made had one epiphany early on… and that was, that if I wanted to find a good woman, the one thing I could do- that I did have control over, was the effect I had on the women I had relationships with…

I resolved to put out good energy, so even if at I didn’t capitalize on any good energy from anyone else’s experiences before they came into my life, at least I could know that people effected by me weren’t going out there furthering the cause and effect problems people have in all relationships, and somehow, maybe, I’d be spared any more “ripple effect” on my end as a result.

I was idealistic, and like I said, “back when I was Mr. Relationship”… Though I am different now when it comes to relationships (nice segue eh?), I still believe in that ripple effect, causality as it were, and energy transference in its most casual sense. Myself, being the momentary proof of it.

As a result of that little experience yesterday, I can say with certainty, negativity passed  through me onto others. Even if I don’t actually take an opportunity to “one-up” or hold back the perceived class and race of those who tried to put me down, the laws of causality are so in-depth and unfathomable that I know just my attitude resulting from that experience must have effected someone else proximally.

And this, this way of expression, here and now, much different from what it would be if this were happening in a different way, say in a bar, as it did last time, a couple years back- where a guy caught a shot to the face on my way out, an hour after he thought he told me off by calling me a spick, is much more subdued, but as far as being the cause that effected negativity- it’s the same. We can only hope that like that guy, who I’m not proud to say had to pick up his teeth and pay a dentist god knows how much to get his face fixed for having mouthed off to the wrong guy, that the ripple effect reaches back at those people who spoke too freely at me yesterday as well. Then, and only then I think, will they actually learn how wrong what they did, was.

Again, Michael Richards comes to mind.

Otherwise, that sense of entitlement some people have, and the disassociation-sand they bury their heads in, myself included, will always keep bigotry and racism of the prejudice kind alive and well in American, and humanity.

A friend, who happens to be white, joked with me using the epithet on my Facebook page, but I know him, so I let it go, despite being hurt, despite being angry, and I joked back, changing the subject.

He’s a good friend and I know he doesn’t mean it with the intent those other people did… So I understand what African American people mean when they say “I can say the N word, and you can’t” to white people… but I just think it’s a shame that I have to.

——————-> More on the other subjects another day.

Out.

Blog Rage… (and racism apparently)

November 11, 2010 1 comment

Let’s talk a little about commentary response, and how the blogger handles it.

I like to think I have an alternative opinion. Eh, that’s me, my own little silly way of thinking I’m special. I flatter myself, I know. In reality I know I’m not, but whatevz I like to say, we all have our little bubbles- right? So I write. I write and I express myself and la-di-da. I sometimes get responses and about half the time (I’m thinking of all the blogs I have) I get both critical commentary and praise. Both are nice. I appreciate the tongue lashings as much as the pats on the back. Really I do. I try and reply, if necessary, in an intelligent and responsive way, and I pride myself in not regressing my humanity by de-evolving into a ghetto, what one would call “typical” moronic cro magnon idiot when weighing in. I try and be on point. I value my intelligence and all in all, it’s about communication… at least, to me it is.

What I do not do is attack anyone who took their time to actually read my words. Even if they dont agree with me, or criticize me, even harshly, I appreciate their time and respect them, sometimes more than they respect me- since disagreeing with my POV is apparently license for some to think they can judge me across the board.

Well I recently made a comment on a blog… Cocktails At Tiffany’s, a blog I found here on WordPress… Just a few words, nothing great or indepth. I said something to the effect of not having confidence in the writers enough to submit any “life” questions for their blog, for them to answer, because of the content.

The content seemed to revolve around drinking and dating (like the title was no indicator of the fore), both apparently, unthinkingly and in excess. All in good fun of course, there’s room on the internet for everyone, and not everyone has to be Bill Maher or Meet the Press, rather The New York Times.

I’m sitting at home enjoying my day off, and my phone signals a message. I recently updated my software on that gizmo so the sounds are nice and new- but then another chime, and another, and another, and yes, another. I’m being bombed here holy shit, I thought to myself. My ex found the page I devoted to her after the break up I thought to myself- here it comes, a year later- eesh. But no, it was breakfast at tiffany’s apparently, and I was on the menu, with a side order of rage. 

In the melee that ensued, after another round or two of Call of Duty Black Ops, let me tell ya, this game is off the hook- I digress; I went online and weighed in… Now, I love a good debate, and I know I can be wrong believe me, so I approached this like I wold any critical situation, not knowing how the young ladies look I impart the adjective in sayin, there are two “lovely” ladies seemingly upset with me and well, lets see, maybe I did a bad thing and I need to apologize = but in the process there’s gonna be some good old fashioned discussin’ that’s-a-gonna happen here…

Turns out I didn’t, and they are. Do something wrong that is.

Wait! Yes! Women can do wrong! Is that news to you? If you are a male reader, and maybe married or in a long term relationship- maybe it is. But it’s true, not a fairy tale- women CAN DO WRONG.

What they won’t do is back down and admit it. It’s my day off and I made Sergeant on COD (no I am not that good but I like the game), so goes without saying, I don’t want to be writing- so I’ll cut if short without getting all up in the details and I can get back to killin’… below is (hopefully) the last exchange between the supposed “writers” of that blog and I.

Long story – short, for a comment on their blog, they came to my facebook page, attacked me personally, insulted me personally, and behaved ina way that if I were culpable of, I would probably be booted off Facebook for and branded some kind of raging stalker.

Yet, apparently for no other reason than because they “feel like it” they saw fit to react that way to a meaningless comment I sincerely did’t even remember until a little more back and forth and a few more rounds of Death Match on COD.

If you want to see the whole thing I can friend you on Facebook or send it to you, no problem- but more importantly to my readers, however few you may be- I can make you this promise…

I will never disrespect you personally or attack you in any way for any comment or opinion you have of me or my writing. I think what these women did was heinous and if that were a standard of blogging, I shudder to think of the lows to which this medium of communication would fall to.  I will always, if even necessary to respond at all, respond to the points of conversation and NEVER use the written word to try and lash out at you and hurt you for anything you may say to me because of anything I’ve written.

In one of the responses I made the analogy that what they did is the equivalent of a person reading the newspaper and going to the offices of the paper and spitting on people in the office- it’s just way – way out of bounds. Any other points I made are touched on below.

Have a great Veteran’s Day all. 

  • Cocktails AtTiffanys 

    Because it is a HUMOR blog, how do you not fucking understand that? Our readers asked us to start an advice column for them to write in because they wanted us to give them HUMOROUS advice. Do you understand yet? Or are you just that fucking stupid? There is no lack of self control, you don’t know who we are, therefor we don’t give a flying fuck and can and will say whatever we want. You insulted our blog, you’re damned right we’re going to say something and stand up for it and ourselves. And please please tell us we are immature again because that is going to change how we act. That’s called sarcasm, hopefully you understand that better than humor.
  • Daniel Damian Mendez 

    Where’s the joke? Its a humor blog, so where is the comical response? Even that would have been better than the attack, and personal attack at that- that you seemed to think was an appropriate response to a comment from a nobody who reads your blog… You can’t support your argument or justify coming on my facebook page and attacking me. You just can’t. In this stream of back and forth messages, nothing. Nothing but contradiction. Both you, whoever is writing now, the less-than-professional “writer” and the non-professional writer- neither of you seem to get it. I made my point. Several in fact, but it seems youre of the typical female mentality that when your “feelings” are hurt, any response you make, even when way out of bounds, unprofessional, immature, raging, stalkerish and profane- is justifiable because aw poo-baby, little girl says it is. 

    Well it’s not. Unless the glass ceiling is justified and women should be held down because they can’t hack it in a man’s world, and you agree with that- then there is no excuse for the reaction you allowed yourself to have to a little itty bitty comment about your blog. I mean are you freaking serious? The rules don’t apply to you? If I reacted the way you did I would be called a psycho- and like I said, if men and women are equals, which I would like to think they are (your example aside), then you reacted like a complete psycho. I’m home chiilin’ and bam-bam-bam, 4, 5, text messages on my phone- blowing it up with insults and personal attacks- all because of a what? Three line comment saying eh, I’m not confident in your advice??? I had to stop what I was doing, go to the PC and see who the hell was freaking out and how badly.

    So which is it? Are you a stereotypical woman who got hysterical over nothing, and we have to excuse you for this apparent handicap and call what you did “excusable under the circumstances” because of your gender… or are you a mature person who lost their shit over nothing and big enough to say youre sorry?

    I cant emphasize enough- how if I did what you did, I would be branded all sort of sick names- and I’d deserve it- so how is it you think you can go there?

    do you knwo how well you would have come off had you simply said “hmm, too bad you think so” or engaged me as to why I feel that way? Do you realize how good it would have made you and your blog look if you simply took the overly emotionalism out of it and made me engage you in return, made me justify my comment? I might have ended up playing the gentleman and apologizing even, but this way- for-get-it.

    You claim “humor” and yet- I see no Daniel Tosh-ish come-backs from you, something I could respect! All I see is rage and irrationality.

    And I think everyone sees it.

    It’s a shame. With every critical comment you have an opportunity to either learn about yourself and your writing, or the chance to teach someone else they are not doing a good enough job in interpreting your work- and you failed at both.

    A chance to show me up, change my mind, blown. And what you have done, is only support the sentiment with which I did rather flippantly write that off handed statement.

    So how does it feel? To know you acted a fool, embarrassed yourself, your blog, your gender even- on an off handed comment I sincerely didn’t even remember when confronted with your craziness?

    In terms you might understand… isn’t it a bit like confronting a guy you slept with for not calling you back when you run into him some time later- and he says to you … “uhm, who are you again?”

    I think even in my responses I’ve been ten times more sarcastic and humorous than you claim to be.

    Maybe you should pay me, since I got THIS kind of reaction from YOU in just a few words through a comment- imagine what I could do as a columnist!

    LOL!

    Have fun faux-justifying yourselves ladies. It’s never gonna be OK no matter how many Cocktails at Tiffany’s.

iPhone girls are whores.

November 10, 2010 Leave a comment

I’m thumbing through my copy of Men’s Health and I catch this headline in the corner of my eye…

“iPhone Girls Have More Fun”

“Researchers asked 9,785 30 year olds which phone they carry and how many sexual partners they’ve had.” it said.

The results put Android users at around 6, Blackberry users between 8 and 9, and iPhone users at 10-12. 12 being the female number.

Other than this being a gratuitous opportunity by me to call women whores, and to post an entry to my dusty blog…

I guess there’s no other reason.

I googled the title of the blurb and this link came up… Don’t blame me, blame the researchers.

http://techcrunch.com/2010/08/10/gadget-porn/

Dirty Girls.

It started out innocently, but they had to call out the edu-proletariate terrorist in me…

October 20, 2010 1 comment

In a suggestion to Shillington School of Design…

Daniel Damian Mendez
1. allow comments and moderate- this could have easily been a comment and not a discussion topic- but there’s no other way to get the word to whoever runs this for Shill

2. I got an e mail for the open house and I have Gmail, so it’s easy enough to click the “add to calendar” option there- I think Facebook has a similar “Event” option? Look into it, I would have liked to do it here since I dont have Gmail open all day like I do facebook.

10 hours ago

Shillington Good idea Daniel
I will look into it creating it as an event. We used to do so when this page was a group – it’s just all a bit new.

Still unsure about the comments section as the majority of the comments ended up being questions that were on are on the FAQs section of the websites. It gets pretty time consuming answering the same things again and again as Jools and I are usually pretty flat out with our roles (I’m the Studio Manager in Australia and Julian is the Studio Manager in the UK). We don’t want this to take over from the websites or from people contacting Shillington directly and the discussions section does work as I’ve seen this and have responded!!

Cheers

Jen

4 hours ago · Report

Shillington There we go! You should have received notification of the event now. It’s not quite the same as setting it up as an individual/group as it doesn’t allow you to invite people but it should still work and you should be able to ‘attend’.
We’ll ensure this is done for all future Open House / Open Night Presentations.

Cheers Daniel!

4 hours ago · Report

Daniel Damian Mendez
Quick response! Cheers right back at ya! I see the point about not taking away from the actual site- perhaps a simple link to the site would do.
Since I know you’re actually listening- I had an afterthought I figure why not throw it out there now…

I’m in New York as you might be able to see- Personally I love what Shillington is offering, and I would love to go, but am financially unable to. I’m sure I’m not the only one in NY who has thought to themselves how unfortunate it is Shillington does not offer the Financial Aid a College might. The “Payment Plan” that is offered, though appreciated, isn’t a feasible option for a “working” artist such as myself, again, I know I’m not alone in that respect.

So what I thought was, seeing how for example, Parsons School of Design, here in NY (which I plan on applying to- but would gladly pre-empt with Shillington if I could) requires a project be submitted with one’s application- and seeing how also here in the states the recession is still major news- why doesn’t Shillington have a contest for a scholarship of sorts, either awarding a full scholarship and/or levels of reduced tuition for those who are financially constrained and who would, as you advertise to, like to change career paths to a creative field.

Applicants can submit their financial information and again, you can have one winner who qualifies for a full scholarship and two or three runners up who qualify for reduced tuition based on their financial situation.

It would serve both as great marketing for Shillington in the U.S., as a philanthropic effort of sorts, and as a great investment- since you can require someone who does take a scholarship to enter into a contract to work for Shillington ( I happened to see some advertisements for open teaching positions at NY’s Shillington) for a period of time before going on to pursue their career in design. Say a year?

It would also look great for Shillington to show they won’t only train you to succeed in design, but will jump at the chance to hold on to one of their own graduates. It shows confidence in your own training.

Am I an idea man or what?

I should get tuition deferment for this alone – wink wink.

3 hours ago · Delete Post

Jennifer ‘Boogaloo Joe’ Long
Hey Daniel,
(Replying in my ‘true form’ here)

Being an ex-student myself from quite a few years ago I know that it’s not always easy to come up with the funds for the course so I do empathize (see, I’m even doing the US spelling just for you). However, as a private institution we soley rely on the tuition fees to enable us to run the courses and offering scholarships just isn’t a feasible option, at this stage anyway.

With regards to teachers at Shillington, we do require lecturers/designers who have industry experience and can’t just take on ex-students straight out of the course. Obviously if they’ve done a number of years in the industry and then come back and work with us that’s another matter.

I can only suggest that if you do have limited funds you should look at doing the course part-time as that does allow you to work and also spreads the payments over a longer period of time.

Cheers for the ideas / suggestions. You are an ideas man indeed 🙂

Jen

about an hour ago · Report

54 minutes ago · Report

Daniel Damian Mendez
I understand and thanks again for the prompt response, despite the cold hard cash in hand sense of it.
I can only suggest, I cant make an organization see the cost/benefit ratio of one to three students on scholarship a year. Hardly an amount that would break the bank.

Understandable about the experience required for lecturers, but paid internship and assistants I’m sure exist as well, and you could apply some imagination to my suggestion instead of cutting it down completely.

If I may before I move on entirely…

For every one student on scholarship, you would have several, if not hundreds of entrants generating free publicity, free marketing, and immeasurable interest in your school. Soon enough you will have to expand to accommodate the interest.

A reality show rivaling the popularity of Project Runway, Top Design or CMYK: America’s Next Top Graphic Designer ensues… which we all know, is as lucrative as it gets.

You dismiss the idea very politely, but I wonder, do you see that by offering a much needed gift like this, here, in a city that needs it as much as NY does, you increase demand for your product, and can, and should, by all business models, incrementally increase the price of tuition per applicant- and end up with a larger profit margin far from the perceived loss you attributed to the idea initially.

I’ll say no more. Run it by a professional, I’m confident they agree with the positive effect it would have across the board.

Thanks for reading and should you reconsider, I’d be flattered and of course, glad to help.

In closing, from a personal perspective, I appreciate the vote of confidence in your payment plan when applied to your part time schedule- but thats the one I was referring to being rather out of reach – unless one comes from money. If I recall quite clearly, my enthusiasm dieing rather quickly after receiving the brochure in the mail and I saw the figures… $5,000 by day 1, and $200 per week after the second or third week of attendance? I’m a NYC employee, one of MANY, and the larger percentage of the population in NY makes under a livable wage… I make under 40k a year- do you really know what you’re asking a person to live on, and pay rent on, when you suggest that so casually? I mean no offense, but I don’t think you really do.

But it’s nice to know those born with trust funds, those who were lucky enough to have parents who put them through school and have misused their degrees in their better paying jobs, can make a small sacrifice and take advantage of your school’s benefits, better their lives and further the divide between the working poor who couldnt, and the wealthy-er in America. The impression that education is supposed to help to improve the lives of those who need it sort of dies a little when reading your very polite response I must say.

So without mincing words, as it is, I hope you are aware, it seems as if your school only offers itself to the wealthy and very financially comfortable in a city where the majority of talent goes wasted because of exclusion such as that. I say these things, not so much for myself, as I am an adult who is used to this kind of thing in a city, and a country like mine, and long since prepared to swim against the tide and do what I can on my own to try and get to where others get to easily- but more so for the kids who are coming up, born to working-poor, not-formally-educated, and divorced immigrant parents like mine were, who wont have the opportunity to get ahead because… well because of the answer you provided, without compromise.

Again, apologies, but I’m sure you understand, I have to let you have an ear full. I know it’s not your problem.

May you continue to do well. Hopefully at some “stage” as you put it, you’ll see fit to show some consideration to the community surrounding the one you choose to put your school in and make a real difference, rather than just make money from those who have it. I hope that one day I do have the opportunity to attend your school, but more so I hope I can implement my own initiative Maybe one like Graffitti Park- link available on my FB page) to fill in the gap you are ignoring- without the need of it.

Thank you, if for nothing else, the motivation to change things.

Daniel DM921

>>> I’ll comment more on this tomorrow