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Thoughts this week…

January 26, 2014 Leave a comment

Sochi Olympics;

Between personal morality and glory, gays, why aren’t you boycotting the Olympics in Russia outright? No pun intended.

You know what? Let’s stay on this issue…

I just saw the tennis legend Billy Jean King get complimented on a popular Sunday morning politico-news show, “you’re a great example to your sport”…

And it strikes me, how as a sports icon do you not engage that backhanded compliment for what it is? Or is the need of attention so desperate by the gay community that you will openly accept compliments to your excellence in whatever field you’re in, just that much more because you’re gay. As if, being gay was a credit to your excellence?

Now, I’m embarking on expressing a tight wire of an opinion here I know. I KNOW there are plenty of people out there who feel as I do, which is that they have no problem with people of any sexuality… but they will not voice this opinion because it comes with the hair trigger auto-response by any gay rights advocate or otherwise- that you’re a homophobe.

Yet, nothing could be further from the truth, at least for myself. I’m just a guy who wishes he didn’t have to have what someone else does in the privacy of their own bedroom, and life, pushed in my face in conjunction with other issues that in no way or means coincides with their sexuality.

Same as when I’m just trying to get through my work day, and you just won’t shut the fuck up with your random issues. Nothing against you personally, but I just don’t need the noise.

I’ve made the argument in the past by posing the question- How would it be accepted by friends, family, the general public, if I wore a T-shirt that announced to the world, that I like a certain type of sex, or sexual position? Keeping it hetero of course, in order to make my point. More so and in accordance with the theme of this post, what if when I accepted accolades for what I do, I also accepted those accolades on behalf of those who like… let’s say… fans of the 69?

Ludicrous isn’t it?

But think about it… Not every woman is a fan f the good old 69. Lets be real, there are some men who live blowjobless lives too. What about them? I feel for these guys. No matter the reasons. I’ve spoken to these women who withhold one of the most beautiful sensations in sexual relations- they are either unwilling to please their mates, just takers by nature, or they are unwilling to give for not recieving, or they don’t know, or are even put off by maybe a hazard of the job (no pun intended), like choking, gagging or elsewise we’ll not get into. In any case, the men who live with or in spite of these women live lives of shame and secrecy. Shame in that they will never willingly let their friends know that they will not be appreciated by their women, or are unable to inspire their women to appreciate them in this way. Secrecy in that in some cases, this deficiency in their relationships leads them to act out, and in acting out, sometimes it leads to infidelity.

So with that little bit being said, I think we can justifiably classify this one facet of hetero men, as in the closet, can we not? Can we not as well agree that they may be discriminated against because of this unfortunate deficiency of circumstances both socially as well as publicly? Think not? I’m pretty sure you can imagine a scenario where a man is passed over for a job for being percieved as weak, or incapable of being as much a man as another might be. This is the stigma attached to not being able to get a blowjob in some cases. Men know what I’m talking about. Men who don’t or can’t get a BJ will be thought of as men who maybe have something wrong with them.

If these parallels to homophobia are established then, and I’m saving time by not writing a fucking thesis here so just try and keep up- then can we also imagine activism on behalf of fighting back that discrimination against those men who either cannot get a blowjob or 69, or have just not been fortunate enough to get them. Its by no choice of their own, right? Like being born gay.

If you can imagine the activism, you can imagine some men wearing the pro-69 button or pin on their lapel. You can imagine the BJ & 69 parades. You can imagine the BJ & 69 flag. I can’t but you can, lol.

Don’t discriminate, just fellate.

For just 69 cents a day, you can help rid the world of un-BJ stigma.

You get my point though. So when that athlete you might admire is on TV representing the Olympics, would you appreciate that they are doing it as an ambassador to the Blow Job and the 69 as well?

Well, shyit… If I couldn’t get one I might too. Maybe I’ve countered my own argument?! No.

I wouldn’t want to know what they are getting, or not getting in their bedroom or in their personal lives. Sorry. Don’t care.

Now, is it wrong of me to think that a hetero ball player (whatever kind of ball other than their own) would be a better ball player if he got a regular serving of 69’s and BJ’s? Maybe. But still… do I need to know about it? No. I don’t.

So why do I need to know if you’re gay? I mean, c’mon, Brian Boytano… Billy Jean King… in some cases you’re going to “know” anyway, but do I need it to be an issue in relation to your sports performance? I think not. Am I wrong? No, I’m not- because they’re indisputably great at what they did.

Now if you want to do a Lifetime channel special on their struggles with being in the closet and trying to become great- and I have a girlfriend (whom I love, because if I am not in love…) who makes me watch it with her, will I have a problem with that? Noooo. Not at all. For that purpose it’s relevant of course and they deserve the pat on the back for having had to deal with adversity in trying times. Same as Jackie Robinson did in his time with the race issue. Yes, I just said a gay person dealing with homophobia and possible discrimination is or was the same as a black baseball player dealing with bigotry in earlier American history.

But I don’t need to know about it in your sports performance, your job performance, your political representation, or anywhere otherwise. If you are my friend and you want to discuss your relationship- IT STILL DOESN’T HAVE TO COME INTO PLAY! We can discuss common themes about relationships, because they are all the same when it comes down to it, without you telling me he went down on you or bent you over. Thats sex, not the relationship. A gay friend can tell me “then we made love” or “then we fucked” and it’s enough and the same as het. If by some curiosity it matters for details- then you go there, but otherwise can someone tell me how it matters either way gay or straight?

It doesn’t. So why I ask, now and for eternity, or until the world grows the fuck up- why must I know about your private sexual preference when I do not care, and it is not relevant?

It’s because the media or because of situations like the one on the news just now, that I’m made to care… and it then becomes counter productive because I don’t want to know. So then, if you’re shoving down my throat, no pun intended, how am I going to appreciate that?

Recently George Clooney did the smart thing.

He refused to answer the question whether he was gay or straight based on the way it may derogatorily percieved that he distinguished himself one way or another, by the other group. You follow? If he says he’s straight, he didn’t want his gay friends being offended that he would define himself apart from them, and if he’s gay, he didn’t want the same offense to his straight friends.

This my readers, is intelligence. It’s a gentle “mind your own fucking business, it’s not relevant to this interview or my work that you know who I suck or fuck in my personal life” AND a lesson, to be learned by you right now and the media as a whole- take that question off the menu across the board. Respect privacy.

Supercalafragilistically, Exprialadociously, Appropriate.

What’s inappropriate is a society and governance that moves so slowly on issues for fear of offence, but does not motivate for fear of stangnace, and allows an issue like this and others to crawl at such a slow pace that groups and organizations have to sprout up to fight discrimination, who then begin to draw divides in society that unfortunately they themselves cannot see they actually should stand against. In other words, gay rights has forced distinguishing themselves as a group, when shouldn’t the fight have been for anonymity?

If your fight is for a thing not to matter… then how is it that your fight, actually fights to make it matter? This applies most fervently to those who would otherwise not care, and already be the enlightened, of which I consider myself to be one, where the danger is you alienate, and lose support you would otherwise have against discrimination.

Again, this is why this issue and this opinion are a tightrope walk. Because at this point, it seems I’m saying the rape victim was asking for it- but I’m not.

I’m saying, that if I’m not supposed to care that you’re gay… then why are you forcing me to care? And by forcing me, you’re forcing me to not like that you’re forcing me, therefore I’m not liking you for forcing me, and you happen to be gay.

See how that could backfire?

But I’m not-not liking you, because you’re gay. I’m not-not liking you because you’re forcing me to care that you’re gay, when just as naturally as you are gay, I could naturally care less otherwise.

And a parallel comes to light between the unspoken-of issue of reverse racism (racism by those who historically have fought racism), and homophobic discrimination. Where perceived prejudice becomes the manifestation of prejudice towards the group prejudice is expected from.

Another danger of over-distinguishing is what is it expected to evolve to? By shining a spotlight, you can’t un-see a thing you want not to matter. The only way is forward, so what then? Will there one day be a separate Olympics for gays? The Gay Olympics? That would be ironic wouldn’t it? The Greeks thought it up, and thought nothing of bisexuality if I know what I know, but however many years later, it matters if you’re gay?

An aside… Sochi is in Russia, and Russia is anti-gay… so why if you’re gay, are you not boycotting the games?

You have this issue and supposed responsibility of bringing awareness to anti-gay sentiment and you are opting to cash in on the glory rather than to sacrifice for the greater good, and taking every athlete with you in the way that they can never feel they really won those games if there was competition that did not participate- but you said the hell with that, I want my spotlight, I want my medal, and it’s OK you’re anti-gay, as long as I get mine.

OK.

So much for that then.

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In News…

January 19, 2014 Leave a comment

Two weeks since my last post. Most recently in the news here in New York, they’ve found remains of a body on the shores of the College Point Queens believed to be of the missing autistic child Daniel Oquendo. Daniel went missing months ago due to negligence on the part of the school he had been attending, or so I’ve heard. One of the reasons this is an Occasional Opinion on my part is because I don’t follow the news like a hound. I purposely omit the news from my life because I am acutely aware of the effects of stimulus of any kind on the overall well being of an individual. News in general, is negative. Overall it’s misleading anyway, but over time if you ingest it regularly, it kills your will to live by pounding into your psyche little by little- the message that humanity is lost. Hence, I apologize if the information I am passing on is inaccurate. I listen to the news on the phone through an application called Radio.com, for the weather most of all, and when I’m done I don’t listen to the news for the rest of the day unless something happens to merit braking news coverage.

In any case this is a very sad development of course. Heinously grim as well, the fact these remains were only bits of a body, and not a corpse. Leaving to speculation how the body came to such a state and how the young boy met his end. I can’t imagine the pain the parents of young Daniel must be feeling not just now, but ever since the disappearance of their child, but I at least hope they can find peace sooner than later by putting their child to rest.

I do not have children as my friends do. I am not close to any of my friends children, though I am affectionately fond of them and would have no problem having a closer relationship if it were to develop. I appreciate these children though for their talents and expression. I do care about them very much, specifically I am speaking of one friend’s kids who are no less incredible than their parents are. They amaze me with their intelligence and creativity every time I see them. Like I said though, I am not a parent, and I cannot imagine what it feels like to be one. But I know if anything were to happen to my friend’s children, it would have a deep emotional effect on me, even this far removed.

When I hear about things like this, and we do not hear enough I assure you, because this is only one missing child case, in a country and a world where millions- I am sure I am not exaggerating- millions of children go missing every year… when I hear about things like this, I remember how when I worked briefly for the Department of Parks and Recreation here in New York, I as one of the managers of security for a major park I will not name here, was educated by the Police Officers assigned to the park, how the playgorunds, and especially the areas just outside them, needed special attention. I was instructed to supervise my security staff to approach the playgrounds from paths not common to pedestrians, so as not to be immediately seen, and have them surveil the areas outside the gates both wooded as well as benches, before conducting the patrol of the playground itself.

The reason for this they said, was to catch the pedophiles.

As it turns out, and you may know this if you are a parent, but if you don’t you should- pedophiles are commonly found outside the parks, usually just watching. But once in a while, not just watching. In either case, my guards, who were for the most part single mothers themselves, because they came to us from various city services such as Department of Homeless Services or Public Assistance recipients associated with Human Resources of New York, had no problem fervently executing these duties.

The classes may have their differences, and these single mothers working their way off welfare who elected to get their security guard license may get leers from the nannies and mothers who bring their children to the playgorunds, but let me tell you if anyone was looking at your kid in a wrong way and my ladies were around- you couldn’t have a better pit bull protecting you- because no matter how much money you make, no matter how you may have discriminated against them in other ways on other days, no matter how you feel about their circumstances or lifestyle or decisions in life… when it comes to the babies, they love yours the same way they love their own.

It’s one of the millions of little ugly facts about living in this city. Pedophiles are everywhere. Sexual deviants are everywhere too, but that’s a whole other subject for another time. It’s one of the many reasons I want to leave this city, the fact that sexual deviants of this kind are out there, close by, lurking just outside, and sometimes inside of playgrounds, either just watching or worse.

It’s one of the reasons that although I love kids… I sometimes thank goodness I have not had the good fortune of having them. I can’t imagine the worry. The incessant never ending absolute unforgiving worry.

I sincerely hope none of this is relevant to the demise of young Daniel Oquendo. Perhaps it was an accident of some kind and the child never felt any pain.

I’ll say no more.

Prayers of course go out to the family and all of those brave members of service involved in investigating the matter.

Categories: Uncategorized

Race.

January 6, 2014 Leave a comment

I didn’t say 1,2,3 – Go! Did I? Yeah you know what I’m talking about. And you knew it was missing from my little welcome back to myself last week. But you didn’t say anything did you? No. Of course you didn’t. I know why too. Because you hate to hear me harp on and on about the subject don’t you? No? Well no. You don’t because in truth I’m modest. I harp on it only when I have to. I only speak up, when I absolutely need to on this subject. If you check back on when I used to write more you’ll see- what? Maybe 10% of posts? If that much.

But see this is the point. Somehow, somewhere, some way, America is too modest it seems when it comes to the matter of race. Yes I know, I said modest. Can you believe it? I say this for those who scoffed at the statement, not for those who haven’t. See I’m writing with consideration to both parties here. I have to. Because as it seems there are two sets of people in this country. No I know, I know there are a myriad of sets of people in the damned country, I know. But you, you know what I mean. You. You there. You’re like me. You know what the fuck I’m talking about.

On the one side, you have these people, like you, like me, who live in the real world. We are racists (look up my post on the word Racism versus Bigotry and how they’re misused). We’re Racists, and not Bigots. We see the races, we acknowledge them, and respect the differences. You can’t do that without being a racist. Same as you can’t be sensitive to issues feminine, if you’re not a feminist. Do I have that right? I think I do. Even if not- you know what I mean. We’re not bigots, because we do not judge based on the very races we recognize, and respect the differences of.

On the other side… Well there we have the kinds of people who live the dream don’t we?

But the dream, is the dream, because you’re fucking asleep, stupid.

Now, the reason I’m going on right now is because of a headline I read between last I wrote and this time. The headline read: Trayvon Martin and 2013 Revealed Harsh Reality of Racism in America. A gem of a headline I thought. But what always surprises me isn’t the headline itself. It’s the ignorance it feigns. I literally said the last part out loud to myself. “Revealed, the Harsh Reality of Racism”… I thought- Revealed? Really? I have to wonder- who writes this shit? And for who? And then I remembered- Not everyone works in a place where the majority minority assumes prejudice and therefore enacts it on everyone around them like where I work. Not everyone grew up with at least one starkly real experience of prejudice put upon them by the minority majority, much less too many vague experiences to count.

And that’s OK. Not everyone will know what it’s like to be regarded less than, of course. Not everyone will know what it’s like to be regarded as less than deserving by those who have been regarded less than for too long either. Not everyone will know what it’s like to be treated wrongly, sure. But the fact that a major online publication proliferates the point of view that no one does, in my opinion, is very ignorant in and of itself. Either that, or the article was written, edited by, and cleared for publication by the very kind of people who don’t know what the fuck they’re talking about when it comes to racism.

And who if not those who have had racism, and reverse racism set upon them, which is most of us out here in this beautiful ugly America, can be better qualified to know what it is, and of course, not be as the headline supposes, overcome by some marvelous revelation that poor kid Trayvon Martin and 2013 afforded us.

Now, I don’t know how to rectify the situation. All I can do is have this little occasional opinion. And say, at least with one voice… a boy didn’t have to die in 2013, or any of the times before, in the years before, and decades before for anyone that I know, to know, that racism, the bigoted kind, still lives in America.

In fact, I’ll go so far as to say I have a screaming suspicion the entire world knows this to be true, and they probably find it one of America’s more entertaining national traits. It makes our celebrities more interesting, our music more marketable, and our movies much more profitable all over the world.

What this means? I don’t know. Should we stay a country of subversive racists in the big cities and closeted ones in the rural areas? No, of course not. We should always strive to be above it. But most of all, be above the hypocrisy of pretending there is no problem, and that it’s something we are somehow discovering still exists.

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2014… New Years Resolutions…

January 1, 2014 Leave a comment

1. Get reacquainted with WordPress and my long neglected blogs… DONE!
2. Keep up the writing, and make something of it.

In relation to this blog, that’s all I’m publicly announcing. I have a bunch of other resolutions of course, but items like, “losing another 25 lbs” and “finishing that script” really don’t belong on the good ole’ O.O.

The good old Occasional as we’re going to like calling it (maybe) is an exercise in expression. It’s always been that. It’s also an exercise in believing one’s voice is relevant. A reinforcement to others in the same I suppose. That’s always important I think. Feeling like you’re helping others. It’s been a very long time since I’ve posted anything here, reserving my writing for unfinished scripts, stories and journal entries. Helping no one with that, not even myself… I’ve felt the regret growing steadily for neglecting what I began here.

Times have changed as well I suppose. A general search for “what’s new in blogging” provided nothing but random links to blog sites offering news, so Google hasn’t changed but this doesn’t mean that tech hasn’t. The fact I’m now writing this on an iPad, and via the WordPress app rather than the big PC laptop I’d launched the blog on says something in itself. I’m sure the more I keep up with this, the more I’ll find new ways of doing things.

Looking forward to the new year;

Hopefully I’ll be able to write about advances in social structure, where in New York, my home (not for long if things go well), there are major advances in providing a living wage and affordable housing to the less fortunate. If not, then I hope I can write about how those less fortunate finally got their shit together and made things happen for themselves by harnessing the power of the majority vote- which they’ve been sitting on for time eternal. We’ve got a new Mayor, and his ticket talked a lot about the tale of two cities. Let’s see how that pans out this coming year, and I sincerely hope I won’t be writing an Occasional Opinion on what a lying hypocrite yet another politician is.

I hope I won’t be spouting too much dismay on celebrities. I certainly missed a lot of less than worthy subjects to complain about this past year. I can’t say I’m too upset about that. I’m actually kind of glad, and I won’t lie- those Kanye and Miley moments and how they drag down the intellectual prosperity of this nation, if not the world and humanity as a whole, probably had a lot to do with my less than enthusiastic motivation to write.

Oh yes, I am not kidding. These things, and the long list of ghetto, ratchet, niggard (it’s not THE n-word of ill repute), subjects the American public feed on and unfortunately allow the media to keep thinking is OK to produce… they really do kill something creative inside of me. Am I too sensitive? Sure. Guillty. But am I wrong too? I think not.

What I am sorry I missed- Writing the Occasional movie review. I did see quite a lot of movies last year, and I hope to always. I’ll enjoy bringing that back to my dormant readership.

In closing, I’d like to wish that readership all the best in the coming year. For those who subscribed way-way back when and those who will come across these dusty pages in the next few months- I wish you health, wealth and happiness in 2014.

Best of luck to us all!

Categories: Uncategorized